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...and the truth shall set you free
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NoGoodUsername posted 8/11/2013 14:20 PM
I came clean on everything today.
The response: As far as I am concerned, this marriage is over.
Mrs Panda posted 8/11/2013 14:33 PM
I commend you for coming clean. It is early and she is angry. She doesn't know who you are. Exposing our weaknesses is scary.
Show her that you are willing to introspect and change. And you yourself will be better for it , no matter what happens.
Don't give up.
rachelc posted 8/11/2013 14:39 PM
NGUN: The thing is, without the truth, you were controlling the information so your spouse couldn't make a decision. Do you really want to be married to someone you have to manipulate like this to stay married to? So, you layed it out there. There is no marriage if there is a secret between spouses... there is no chance for intimacy is you share a secret with an AP.
Integrity, to me, is telling the truth and letting go of the outcome. This is exactly what you did... the right thing.
Your marriage can't be good unless you are both healthy. there is no other way. And having a secret from your spouse is unhealthy...
The only thing you can do is focus on getting healthy and you just took the first step.
I'm sure this was so so difficult. I've been there myself. But I would rather be married to someone who knew all of me, the good and the bad.
NoGoodUsername posted 8/11/2013 15:19 PM
She is outing me and my affair partners on social media right now.
After the post goes up, I'll be logging in to confirm her statements to everyone.
Today has been exactly a month since D day and it has been the worst month of my entire life. I don't want to be divorced. I want to reconcile this marriage and have a life together more than anything in the world. I know that my wants matter very little in the wake of what I have done.
...
I can't believe that I have thrown away the love of this passionate, intelligent beautiful person who has stood by my side, literally and figuratively with sword in hand, against all comers. And for what? A tawdry romp with someone who didn't respect our marriage.
I wish with all of my heart that I hadn't been unfaithful.
My wife, I am sorry. I apologize for all of my failures and betrayals.