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Longest time before first date after D

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Feeling Consumed posted 8/11/2013 17:56 PM

I have not had a date since I separated over 2.5 years ago!! Not even any near-misses. Not one, single solitary guy has even remotely hinted that they would want to go out for a cup of coffee - hell not one guy even hinted they would just want to use me just for sex - and I may be open to being a FWB!!

I've heard many stories from others who had dates even while they were separated, or soon after they divorced, but for me - nada, zilch, not even a wink. I know I'm not a head-turner, but I'm not a stomach-turner either!

So, my question long after your S/D did you start dating? Anyone get back in the saddle after years and years? I'm looking for some hope here!! And yes, I know I need to be happy being by myself and I am happy by myself, but I choose to want to have a mate. That is a normal, human need - companionship. I am independent and I do not NEED anyone, but I sure do WANT someone.

So what's the record for going without a date?

JessicaFL127 posted 8/11/2013 18:00 PM

I didn't even consider it until nearly 5 years after D. And that was in October 2012, and he cried on the date and I wound up comforting him. Haven't gone on another date since.

fireproof posted 8/11/2013 18:08 PM

I think there is no time limit. I waited 4 years and I wonder now if that was long enough.

A lot in my opinion has to do with your prior experiences, the type of people you meet, how long you were separated, the trauma of the divorce, etc.

You can't wait too long but you can definitely go in too fast.

I was mainly around family and old friends. I focused on what was important to me. It helps because when things come up you are better able to navigate- not perfect but better

Good luck. Going out meeting interesting people is not dating. Start with that and see.

gma56 posted 8/11/2013 20:22 PM

It was three years after separation before I was interested in anyone or seeing anyone new.
Other than him I haven't dated it's been 5 yrs now.

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