"You can survive this. Talk to others that have"

heathenchristian posted 8/11/2013 21:03 PM

He told me today that he is waiting on auth from ins for us to start MC.

I guess this is a start in right direction.

I'm nervous about MC. I know I need to be honest and so does he and sometimes it is just so brutal to hear some things.

How do you just listen and hear what is being said w/out getting upset/pissed?

We haven't even started MC yet and I'm worrying about this already.

UGH

authenticnow posted 8/11/2013 21:16 PM

How do you just listen and hear what is being said w/out getting upset/pissed?

You listen to what's being said but you shouldn't have to hold back your feelings!

You're going to get upset and/or pissed. That's okay! You have to feel it to heal it.

Tripletrouble posted 8/11/2013 21:48 PM

MC functions as a safe place to say things you wouldn't say on your couch at home. It can be painful and uncomfortable, and we always left feeling worse than we did when we arrived. Like physical therapy - it hurts and you limp out but you are further along in your healing for having gone. I used to take a Xanax before we went. Good luck, and remember that getting upset is Ok and expected. And a couple times I got really, really pissed, and that was ok too. The drive home can be tense too.

Lostinthismess posted 8/11/2013 22:36 PM

Our marriage counseling sessions have been the opposite for us. We usually leave on good terms, laughing and more relaxed. It's when it's been more than a week because of fwh's work schedule that everything goes to shit. The first month for us seemed more of a get to know you and where the marriage stands type deal. That's with individual sessions for both of us in the mix. Just be honest. Say what your thinking and work through it out loud with someone who can help you. We went through three mc's before we found one we thought was worth continuing with. So if you don't think they're any good don't be discouraged. Try someone else.

[This message edited by Lostinthismess at 10:36 PM, August 11th (Sunday)]

sisoon posted 8/12/2013 13:40 PM

What AN said.

Also, in the end, the truth hurts a lot less than lies - but you know that, I think.

sparklezombie posted 8/12/2013 14:21 PM

Definitely say what's on your mind and don't hold back. But also start to practice at home the things you talk about.

heathenchristian posted 8/12/2013 20:05 PM

thanks for the advice. Our 1st session is in 2wks. A little nervous.

I've been reading some self help books and there's bit of information that I feel like we may not make it.

Then on the other hand other stuff makes me think we can.

So damn confused.