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is it time to ask for child support?

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Alyssamd24 posted 8/11/2013 21:40 PM

I haven't been on in the last few days cuz my DD and I went camping with some friends...but I am happy to say that my BH joined us on Friday evening and stayed with us all Saturday before heading home to go to work. My DD was very excited when daddy showed up (we wanted to surprise her) and it felt good being on vacation together like a normal family.

That being said, BH is still not ready to let me move back home and we are still in limbo land. I have been applying for a new job and have my first interview on Tuesday!!

Since I will be at a new job we will have to pay for childcare. I am hoping once I have a new job I will be making more money, but am concerned about how I will pay for childcare on top of all my other bills.

My question is this...since my BH doesn't seem like he will be letting me home anytime soon, should I start thinking about trying to get some child support from him? And should I actually go through the court, or just talk to him and see if we can come up with our own agreement?

I am worried about what this step may do for R, but at the same time don't even feel like we are in R so maybe it doesn't matter anyway....just wondering what others think. Thanks!

badchoice posted 8/11/2013 21:57 PM

Glad you had a nice weekend, and good luck Tuesday.

Interesting topic, I was going to post something along these lines this evening, and will do later.

Personally, I would speak to him about it, and try to come to an agreement together. Working towards the common good of the kids is a shared responsibility.

authenticnow posted 8/12/2013 05:46 AM

I would speak to him about it, and try to come to an agreement together. Working towards the common good of the kids is a shared responsibility.

^^^This^^^

Good luck with the interview!

SurprisinglyOkay posted 8/12/2013 06:05 AM

I agree with BC and AN.
See if you can do it together.

And Good Luck with the interview!!

I am worried about what this step may do for R

I understand this concern. But R or not you gotta take care of the kiddo!!

If you feel funny taking the $$ from him, maybe he could pay the Childcare facility directly instead.

Aubrie posted 8/12/2013 07:40 AM

Y'all had a child together. Both parents are responsible for raising and providing for that child. R or no R. You guys need to have a discussion about this. And like broevil suggested, maybe he can pay the childcare center directly as opposed to giving it to you and then him only guessing as to how you spend it.

I would suggest talking to your husband first. If and when an agreement can't be made, take the next step.

ResoluteH posted 8/12/2013 19:43 PM

Yes, by all means, discuss it with him and try to reach an agreement. But talk to a lawyer before you make any commitments to him. Many custodial parents assume far too little about the non-custodial parent's obligations to support the children. Note those last three words: support the children. That's why it's called child support, and that's why you should not accept too little. If you do, you're cheating your children, and you probably will not know if you are accepting to little without legal advice.

Lecture over. Hang in there.

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