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Having outburst of anger....

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ShedSomeLight posted 8/12/2013 05:48 AM

Is anyone else having some outbursts of anger that they can't control? He is doing everything he can to offer all information to me, explain things multiple times, we have started therapy and is truly remorseful for cheating on me. It was a on again off again 2 years sexual affair. They only met during lunch hours. He was always home at night and with me all weekend, so the typical signs of an affair were not there, however, I still felt something was not right. So...guess how I found out...this woman decided to "stalk" me by email, phone...etc. Talk about feeling violated ! So... I left our home and we are starting week two of reconciliation. I want to try...however, I have so much anger. I am going to ask the therapist to help me with that, but can anyone here offer me some suggestions. I am finding that physical activity helps me. Any other suggestions ? I have an active police case right now because I am a victim of stalking. He did not realize how crazy she was... now I am paying for that as well. How can I control my anger.?

jjsr posted 8/12/2013 08:37 AM

Its very normal to fell this anger and its justified to have this anger. Start with your counselor. Its going to take awhile for the anger to lesson. Sending you good thoughts

LA44 posted 8/12/2013 09:21 AM

Hello SSL, you have just learned of your partners two year PA. Of course you are having outbursts of anger - even if you have been feeling unsure of your relationship (I read your first post) and have not been upfront about your marital fears (which by the way does not give him grounds to cheat to cheat), feeling angry is a step in this process. I had an outburst last night - we are 8 months in. It didn't last long but there it was.

I started this process - btw, my fwH had a two year PA with someone outside of where we live so like you, I knew something was up but could not place it simply bc he was home. Present - but not really - yway, I started the process by reading After the Affair by Janis A Spring. We both read it actually. The byline of the title refers to Healing the Pain and Rebuilding Trust. It's easy to read.

Since it sounds like you have had some long-standing concerns with marriage, opening up, I would suggest IC for both of you. It might help you weed through the things that have long troubled you. That way, whether you stay with him or not, you will have a better understanding of you.

Good luck.

Scubachick posted 8/13/2013 12:23 PM

I have the same problem. Just curious how your husbands responds to your anger.

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