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simplydevastated posted 8/12/2013 08:43 AM

He changed his password to the cell phone account. There were a few things that I needed to check on and this morning I couldn't log in. I tried the four different passwords that I know of and they didn't work. This from a man that says "I'm not doing anything any more so you can just trust me." Yeah...whatever

solus sto posted 8/12/2013 08:52 AM

Yikes. Not good. I'm sorry, (((simplydevastated))).

struggling3 posted 8/12/2013 08:54 AM

I've had this happen to me and I know what a tailspin you can get into. Ask immediately...you will feel so much better with it out in the open. I hope it is a simple and explainable reason and he provides you with the new one. If he is serious about keeping you on the healing path...he will. Good luck.

simplydevastated posted 8/12/2013 08:57 AM

He's never provided me with any passwords. In the situation I'm in, I could ask and he might give it to me, but then there's nothing stopping him from changing it again.

He knew I was in one email account of his and he changed the password the next day. I have to keep everything I find out quiet. Basically, I'm just building my "information pile."

It sucks because it just fortifies my thoughts that he's an ass.

TxsT posted 8/12/2013 09:08 AM

Why on earth are you keeping things quiet? Do you fear he will leave, lie to you more, etc? Your snooping is normal and an expected reflex action of the hurt your husband has caused.

If you don't come out and say I want access to these things for these reasons, you won't ever get to the end. You will never stop looking, and he will continue to think of ways to deceive you.

Personally, his actions would be screaming to me "get the hell away from him". They show me he is continuing his behaviour. I would be quickly coming to the realization I didn't want to live with such a person.

T

simplydevastated posted 8/12/2013 09:35 AM

T, I'm keeping it quiet for the simple reason I'm done fighting about it. I could lay out every possible truth and explain every possible thing to him and he won't see it. He is the classic "victim." He has told us that we treat him badly, we don't appreciate him etc... Then he goes behind my back to his online friends and bashes me and DS10.

I think at this point I've either reached indifference or I'm just tired.

Am I happy that I have to keep checking on him? Am I happy that he changes his passwords? Hell no! I've stopped asking him questions because he was getting annoyed that I wasn't getting over it already.

I know he'll lie to me more. I've learned how to read his face when he does lie.

Believe me, I don't want to be here. I have a plan, and as soon as I'm back on my feet I'm leaving. My continued snooping is, for lack of a better word, self-preservation. I feel that I need to know what is going under my own roof, and because he'll lie to me about everything I feel that the only way I'll find out the truth is if I snoop.

sparklezombie posted 8/12/2013 10:03 AM

I totally understand. I've been there and it sucks. Sorry you're going through it too