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After the Fog-waywards memories( moving it here)

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ifinallyfoundme posted 8/12/2013 09:28 AM

Somes I look into his eyes and I can see the second half of the pain of his actions. Memories of each act are starting to take on not so pleasant feelings. Were thoughts of oral sex with AP were once pleasant, now it's, I can't believe I put my mouth on that, or I could be a new parent heading into retirement. Couple that with my family knows all my shitz!
Anyone else at this phase?

PinkJeepLady posted 8/12/2013 12:26 PM

Yes, I hear you. I too can see in my H's eyes that there are no "pleasant" memories. I asked him a question recently about the cheating and it occurred to me to ask him if that brought back memories of the actual act? He said no it didn't, he just feels guilt and shame. In his mind he said he sees a door in the apartment where it happened and the feeling he had of knowing it was wrong. It seems like this is part of the process WS's go through?
Such a painful journey for all of us.

ifinallyfoundme posted 8/12/2013 13:05 PM

I'm not excusing him for what he has done, but I've always told him if AP loved him so much, she would have waited just to help him avoid the pain that was sure to come his way if he continued. My H and I very much enjoyed doing a certain thing together and AP tried to steal it. Lately he has been very determined about reclaiming this thing. Until he was successful in reclaiming the special thing, he struggled. There is a pain waywards go through.

[This message edited by ifinallyfoundme at 1:05 PM, August 12th (Monday)]

TxsT posted 8/12/2013 13:11 PM

Seeing the pain in my RWH eyes brings on two feelings inside me.

1) I know deep down he hates what he did, hates himself more for being weak enough to do it, and it isn't going to happen again

2) we will eventually be ok.

I feel sorry for the people on here I know deep down inside wont be ok. The ones that don't get closure from their spouses, who don't feel the satisfaction of remorse or shame. My heart goes out to them.

T

ifinallyfoundme posted 8/12/2013 13:28 PM

I feel sorry for the people on here I know deep down inside wont be ok. The ones that don't get closure from their spouses, who don't feel the satisfaction of remorse or shame. My heart goes out to them.

T


I agree totally.

PinkJeepLady posted 8/12/2013 14:23 PM

Me too :(

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