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Having a rough couple days

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MovingForward88 posted 8/12/2013 10:39 AM

I'm so angry with my H and I feel like I have lost everything I thought I had except my kids. My babies are my world and they are the reason I still get up every mourn . I feel like in his eyes he has said sorry and that it will all change (yes he has changed in ways) but I have heard it so many times before . He doesn't understand that I'm on a roller coaster from hell and that half the time I don't even know what I'm feeling . Some dad I hate him so much I don't even want to look at him other days I think that we can work things out and things can be good again ... I want him to feel the pain I feel so he understands ... It's been 3 years but he came out with the truth about a month ago . To me everything that we have shared is a joke he choose this nasty person over his family and it kills me more and more everyday

cancuncrushed posted 8/12/2013 11:31 AM

I hear you. My H has never confessed anything. Its been 5 years. I had to write my own story. One I believe is close to the truth. I have had to heal to that story. Its the only one I have. And I have to heal. I have decided I never want to hear the real story. The real truth is, it doesnt matter. It will hurt just the same, and hurt all over again. It will be DD all over again. I refuse to listen. This is cruel and selfish. And making themselves feel better. I have made him aware of this. No, He isnt getting away with anything. I live with his past adultry. I do not live with details, much less new details. I gave him every opportunity to confess. Now the story is his to keep. I hope it eats him up. THis was a mean and selfish thing to do so far out. Were you asking still for more info? I do not.

MovingForward88 posted 8/12/2013 12:17 PM

No I don't want more information I just don't care to know anymore and I don't think I can take anymore to be honest .... I just don't know how to put it behind me and move on. I feel like he has the easy part of the relationship he got to do what he wanted and now I'm left to pick myself up and put the pieces back together for my kids.

c6284x posted 8/12/2013 12:45 PM

Your absolutely right MovingForward88, he has had the easy part of your relationship and sounds awful to say but he probably always will when it comes to matters of his adultery. People who have affairs have little empathy for anyone but themselves, he will say the right things for awhile but he is not truly sorry and never will, he just wants to put the mess behind so he doesn't have to deal with it anymore.

Several years ago I was in a situation with a female co worker who started to become attached to me and hinted she wanted more. As attractive as she was I would have felt awful if my wife had found out and didn't want to risk the life that I had. Years after that my wife in a similar situation chose the affair because there was nobody more important in the world than she.

My father was a serial cheater, my poor mother would always find evidence like ticket stubs or earing's in the car that weren't hers. But she always forgave him and he never stopped until he became to old to cheat. Now him and my mom are still married and they get along OK but what kind of happiness can they truly have with all that baggage behind them.

I got divorced months after my dday and there were times I wish I would have worked it out with her, because it does get lonely. But I always think of my mom and don't want to spend the rest of my life waiting for the next evidence to pop up.

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