how many had their WS prove this to be true ?
Mr. Trac-Fone has stuck to this pattern. Even separated, he behaves in the same slimy, cheater-esque ways. He has serious intimacy issues.
signs of a cheater ?
He showed very few, though I can see some red flags in hindsight. Big ones.
signs he/she would do it again?
Refusal to admit early cheating, lack of remorse, lack of empathy
was the WS confidant he/she wouldn't and then did and shocked about it?
No. He was sure he wouldn't get caught, and that "then we'd be happy again." Magically. Because he retains the emotional maturity of a seven-year-old.
did they confess?
No. He denied even when there was evidence. He only admitted what he could not avoid admitting.
did you find out?
Yes. But there was a very long time during which I felt a profound disconnect---things just never were "right." I blamed myself for this--believed there must be something terribly wrong with ME that the connection was broken. (In reality, it had never existed; he just wore a shinier and more distracting mask early on.)
if they confessed the first time did they confess a second would you think theyd confess a second time?
My husband moved back home after a separation. Within 2 days, I discovered correspondence that made clear that he was in an affair. He did confess that it was with the "last" (not really, because he cheated on her, too) OW. But that wasn't really a confession---it was an unavoidable admission.
It also completely ended our marriage. I now know that R --at least the kind of R I wanted---isn't even a possibility with someone as disordered as he is.
[This message edited by solus sto at 6:07 PM, August 12th (Monday)]