[This message edited by Why?? at 6:28 PM, August 12th (Monday)]
“The most difficult times for many of us are the ones we give ourselves.” ― Pema Chödrön
I went on a few dates with this guy who thought I was much younger (20 something). When he found out my real age (30's) his response was "Oh.... I've never dated a woman in her 30's." We never went out again. BTW - this guy was a few years older than me.
My exBF, however, was in his 20's. He had never dated an "older" woman but we clicked and worked really well together (only broke up because I moved 1,500 miles away). He always knew my age. He did, however, tell me that the fact that I didn't look older made a difference (at least initially). He is not shallow, he just said (in all honesty) that it would have made him self conscious if I *looked* much older than him.
I would imagine women could be the same way. I could date older or younger. However, I think at some point it would bother me.
"In life, unlike chess, the game continues after checkmate." - Asimov "Be patient and tough; someday this pain will be useful to you." - Ovid
My first H was 7 years older than me and after divorcing him, I made a very definitive decision not to go more than five years up or down from my age, regardless of what age they looked like.
But the situation also reminds me of something kind of funny. When my sister and I were both single, between marriages, we went out dancing one night and met twin brothers! We hit if off very well with them, danced and talked all night till the bar closed, then had breakfast with them before she and I headed back home. Of course we both found out they were both single and never married. My sister was also divorced with two kids, and I had three kids. They were 27 and I was 34. My sister was 29. Well, my sister married "her" twin. The other twin told me that same night, after a nice kiss, that he liked me but we would not be going out again because the age difference was too much for him. He said he was not bothered that I had kids, or that I was divorced, but the age mattered. (Obviously, he thought I was a bit younger until I actually told him my age). I have always highly respected the fact that he said that right away. I don't think I would have broken my own rule for him since he was also more than five years younger than me, but then again it would have been mighty cute with my sister (whom I'm very close to) and I dating twin brothers... so I might have broken my rule in his case if he had given me the opportunity.
Anyway, it didn't happen. Since she married him, I see the brother once or twice a year; he is married with a couple of kids. It all worked out well.
Is this a guy thing or am I reading this wrong?
I don't think it is just a "guy" thing but some of us have our reasons why we would rather date someone closer to our own age.
If it is about age, that is his perogative. Who knows if he is one of the ones who likes them super young to a max age of 5-years less then his own age, or he is realistic and keeps it close to his own age? My finace had 5 under or over his age and nothing else when we met on OLD.
For whatever reason, it wasn't meant to work out. I look back at those now and realize it all helped me get where I am now, and I would not change it for the world. Then again I am grateful for all my experiences and some of them are a direct result of the way others acted or because they were not interested in me.
Maybe you dodged an even bigger issue .....
