"So often times it happens, that we live our lives in chains and we never even know we have the key"
Do you mean give the 180 a chance?
I think I just need to put one foot in front of the other, keep going, in the right direction for me.
I need to get back out in the world with friends. Do my best at work again.
This state will not last long, he is not a patient man. He will either take responsibility for his actions and move forward or he will leave.
He has an appointment on Wednesday morning with our MC, if he keeps it that may make a difference, our MC is that good. If he breaks it then that is just another nail in the coffin.
I am not sure what else I should be doing. I have already been through the process of filing for d, back in November, so I know the ropes, no biggie, very simple for us with no kids. We have no equity in this house, it is in my name only, so I will stay. He will probably argue but not much to argue about. Half of zero is zero.
He couldn't get a mortgage to buy me out. There really isn
't much choice about that.
Not sure that I want to even stay here, too many painful memories. That is something I can deal with later.
My first priorities, getting some peace. Reestablishing myself at work. Detaching. Doing good things for me, friends, painting, reading, exercise. Try to eat. Try to sleep more. Put money aside.
He will do what he does, it's on him. It is sad, he has this chance with someone that loves him, if he continues to wall up his heart and abuse everyone close to him, he is going to live a very lonely life.
He recently told me he was verbally abusive to ow.
I don't know how there was enough time to get to that point. He left me on oct. 21 and ended with her on dec. 10. How can your worst come out so quickly? Oh well, doesn't really mean anything to me, just reinforces his anger isn't about me. It's all about him.
I would now like to be known as Can!
dday October 21,2012
dday December 20, 2013
attempted R, it was all a lie