SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

So I've been doing pretty good with the no contact thing. I haven't responded to the "accidental" texts that he sent to me rather then his Twinkie. I haven't told her or anyone else about the lies he's told about our relationship and about himself. I haven't responded to any emails that did not pertain to finances or the sale of our house.

Last night a friend of mine texted me and told me that he's now a daddy. He found out on Facebook.

I didn't sleep all night because I tortured myself with the thought of his happy new family and how he was able to throw away 9 years just like that for someone he'd only known for 2 weeks.

And while he's posting pictures of her and their new baby, his relationship status still says married and he's made no mention of filling for divorce.

When will this emotional roller coaster end?

I'm sorry, honey. That's a rather dramatic drop to sit through. When things were most difficult for me, it sometimes helped to remember that for every fall on the rollercoaster, there was a rise ahead.

Sending you strength.

((((dbfree))))

(((douchebagfree))). I totally understand the roller coaster ride. It sucks. I'm so not looking forward to the day OW gets pregnant. She's young so I know that she wants kids, even though he doesn't. I also worry about our son and how he will take it.

My heart goes out to you!

(((((Douchebagfree))))) I am so so sorry. That is difficult news to hear. I'm sorry that you lost sleep due to torturing yourself. I am sorry that YOU are suffering from HIS brokenness. I wish I had an answer to your question but I don't. Roller coasters suck balls. I hope you can rest tonight.

(((dbfree)))

I am sorry.

But

I tortured myself with the thought of his happy new family

let that ^^ go!!

It takes very expensive photography and selective memory to have a happy new family with a newborn. It is 10-12 diapers a day, little to no sleep, healing from the physical trauma of childbirth, arguing over whose turn it is to get up or resentful that it is ALWAYS your turn, exhaustion, too many guests, not enough guests, and did I mention the exhaustion?

(((hugs))) the roller coaster sucks.

Ugh, I'm so sorry. That would be really hard. I know OW in my case desperately wants a baby too. STBX does not want more kids, but he is too much of a pussy to tell her. He doesn't want to risk losing her.

Anyway, I know the day she gives birth will be really hard for me. Lots of hugs to you.

Just hope the baby has colic, though I don't wish it on the baby but you get the idea

Nothing like a baby to bring out a selfish, useless, pain in the arse, POSs true colours. I unfortunately learned that the hard way AFTER having kids with the sad clown.

As the XMIL so ironically said to me once: "you never know what kind of father they'll be until its too late". I would add husband to that too.

((Douchebagfree)) Don't believe the view from the window - you were in that house once, you know the monster she has just had a child with. You are free of it - her sentence has just begun.

Changing the players DOES NOT change the game.

I can relate, DBFree.

Both Fucktard and Troutface are 42. She has never been married, no kids but she wants them and I'm sure she feels the clock ticking. Fucktard has two kids from his first marriage who are now 17 and 15 and he does not want more children (he certainly does not want to repeat the demanding infant years nor be age 60 when they graduate high school.) I have no doubt he is selfishly stringing her along with avoidance tactics like "there is so much going on at my work since the merger, let's just table that for now" blah blah blah.

I see this playing out in one of two ways:

1) She gets sick of him stalling and finally makes an issue of defining what their "future" is. He will be fine with this because then he can say it was HER who ended things (he is a big giant coward).

OR

2) She 'accidentally' gets pregnant. Cue the resentment from the older kids as the new baby gets all the time, attention and resources. And of course, baby takes time and attention away from HIM, so he will seek validation elsewhere. Lather, rinse, repeat.

I promise you it isn't all rainbows and unicorns as they want all their FB friends to believe. (But you may want to stock up on popcorn at some point....)

This is when the fairy tale ends and reality sets in. They always try to make things look great when they really aren't. You won't see them posting pics of the screaming fits, crying or of them up being up all night with a sick baby or one who doesn't want to sleep.

Wow! Douchebag is right...along with a few other choice names. I'm sorry you are having to go through this, but you are WAY BETTER OFF!!!! He is pawn scum. That poor kid! People who behave in the manner as those two have should feel nothing shame for what they have done. What comes around, goes around!

((dbfree))

I expect XSO's OW to want kids. He didn't want them, would not allow his wife to get pregnant. Ow is 27, he is 54.

He dated me for 8 years, helped me raise 4 daughters thru the preteen and teen years. He loved my kids, when we ended, he wanted to keep in touch with them.

Unless my kids tell me or his sister, I won't know. And I'm ok with that.