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MC is going on a 2 week vacation

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DoneWithLove posted 8/12/2013 23:26 PM

Thursday will be our last MC session for 2 weeks. What am I supposed to do when those days come around, what do we do? I thaught maybe writing down what I need to talk about and sit down with my H for an hour, as if we were in MC, and talk. Or just extend our date an hour. Or do nothing. Idk, H hasn't said anything. Does it really even matter if we miss 2 weeks?

jjsr posted 8/13/2013 01:42 AM

Writing it down would be good. The first year we were in MC a couple of times the MC had to miss because of a conference and we had to miss because our son got married and we were gone for 9 days. I was so scared all hell would break loose. You will make it thru. If its one of those days take a deep breath and if you two can not communicate give yourself a time out and table the discussion until you are able to see the MC.

LosferWords posted 8/13/2013 08:57 AM

Once those two weeks are up, and you you are back in MC, I don't think you will have any problem picking up where you left off.

I really like the idea of you writing down what you need to talk about. Whether you talk about those items in a solo session, or whether they are tabled for the next MC session, I think that's a great idea.

Maybe H is waiting for your move to see what you want to do? Wouldn't hurt to talk to him and ask him what is going on in his mind regarding missing the two weeks.

Good luck. You'll get through this.

sparklezombie posted 8/13/2013 10:49 AM

Definitely write it down and make a point to talk during the hour you would normally have counseling. WH and I backslid on counseling and we just had another DD. Treat it like a normal counseling time, minus the counselor, and keep the pace up.

mrcpu posted 8/13/2013 11:35 AM

Thing of it as an opportunity to see how things are REALLY going between you two. You may be pleasantly surprised!

DoneWithLove posted 8/13/2013 16:54 PM

Thanks for all the helpful advice. I will talk to him, write down key points I want to talk about and maybe even ask our MC how he thinks our time would be best spent. Not talking to my H contradicts our R rules that we made together.

Skan posted 8/14/2013 00:03 AM

This is a great opportunity! You both keep on journaling about what you need to talk about, and then at THE specific time, you talk about these matters. Or, what worked better for us, is that you have 2 specific times. One time, one of you takes the lead and talks about their issues while the other one listens, makes notes, and affirms (or makes non-commential noises), and then vice versa. And for anything that is a sticking point, you bring back to MC when they are back.

Really, the whole point of MC or IC is to go it alone. So use this as a Where Are We At moment and see how you're doing!

womaninflux posted 8/14/2013 00:22 AM

Have a plan. Set aside two times per day where you can sit and look at each other and talk about any issues that come up. If anything gets tense agree that you will take a break and come back to talk .

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