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Newest Member: BrnEyes777 (45750)

User Topic: Annoyed at his family
Averyhurtgirl
♀ 37762
Member # 37762
Default  Posted: 11:49 PM, August 12th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So my soon to be ex-husbands parents are visiting for two weeks. During this time, I went above and beyond to make sure they have time to spend with my son, who is 4.

They took him on a trip this past weekend and when they came back, my soon to be ex husband starts to complain about my parenting. He said he has a list of concerns regarding my parenting (my son said I got mad at him, he is worried that our son is becoming emotionally disturbed, and said my niece/nephew are bad influences on my son etc.).

I texted him and told him that if he wants to complain about my parenting, I will not hear it and he should express his concerns to his lawyer.

I am just annoyed because we have been separated for 1 year and he always said I have been a good mom. Then, suddenly after his parents visit he has a whole list of concerns regarding my parenting skills. I know his parents are brainwashing him.

I cried so much because sometimes I just do not understand how much more pain I will have to deal with. First, DD, separation, dealing with divorce, I left my home, living with parents, feeling like a single mom etc. It's exhausting and life is exhausting now.

I used to be an AMAZING mom according to what others told me. And now I am just a mom that is trying and holding on trying to be sane. I know his nutrition is not as good as it used to be, I know I am not doing enough activities or pre-academic work with him. I take him to different activities and hardly ever raise my voice at him, but I do not enjoy playing with him etc. To be honest, it's not even a concern of mine anymore. Its been one year and I thought things would get better but I cannot even get a grasp on my own life yet. I used to be such an organized person and now no organization, everything is cluttered etc. My parents have a very small home. I want to stay with my parents for another year until my son is in kindergarten.

I feel like my life just sucks right now; have to work, no nice home, no real closet, no organization, no strong interest from me for my son, etc. I thought there would be light at the end of the tunnel but I am sure not seeing the light as fast as I would like to.

I am in individual and group therapy. I am also working on other things to get better.

A piece of me feels like if I meet someone and get married my life would carry on again - I would have a home, a companion to talk to, someone to make me feel special etc.

Anyways, I just wanted to vent!


Posts: 49 | Registered: Dec 2012 | From: Oregan
caregiver9000
♀ 28622
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 11:56 PM, August 12th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((hugs)))

I think "fake it til you make it" works here.

Good for you for not listening to his criticisms or defending to him.


Me: 44, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 13 DS 10
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5911 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
Nature_Girl
♀ 32554
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 1:08 AM, August 13th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Let your lawyer know immediately that your STBX is accusing you of being a bad parent. Your STBX may be setting up a situation where he tries to take custody from you. TREAD CAREFULLY!


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - DIVORCED!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJgjyDFfJuU

Posts: 10029 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
sparkysable
♀ 3703
Member # 3703
Default  Posted: 2:08 PM, August 13th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What exactly is making you a bad mom?

I know his nutrition is not as good as it used to be, I know I am not doing enough activities or pre-academic work with him. I take him to different activities and hardly ever raise my voice at him,
Who cares? Who cares if he eats macaroni and cheese every day, and watches cartoons. Are you supposed to feed him organic home cooked meals and hold pre-academic learning sessions to be considered a good mom? Who the hell is he or his parents to make such judgements?

I think they all need to shut the hell up and stop trying to enable and ego-stroke their son as to how wonderful he is, and how terrible you are.


D-day OW#1 2/2004; R for 6 years; D-day OW#2 5/2010

Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.


Posts: 3493 | Registered: Mar 2004 | From: NY
PurpleRose
♀ 33129
Member # 33129
Default  Posted: 2:17 PM, August 13th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think they are simply trying to get under your skin.

don't let them! What they say and think really does NOT matter to your daily life. You do what you know is right by your son, and they can spin in circles all they want.


divorced the Dooosh
*****************************
even if you find your voice,
sometimes it does not matter anymore,
when you speak to a man who is deaf by choice.
~dodinsky

Posts: 3631 | Registered: Aug 2011 | From: Happyville
chikastuff
♀ 35288
Member # 35288
Default  Posted: 3:21 PM, August 13th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I see that you're in therapy, and that's great. Are you taking ADP? disorganized life/thoughts when you're typically very organized can be a sign of depression and can easily be corrected with meds. It was one of my biggest issues last year. I held it together for the most part but I couldn't focus worth a damn. Lexapro got me back on track and allowed me to focus and set/meet goals and boundaries.

But ditto the others who said fuck that noise. Who they hell are they to tell you how to parent. Does your son have a loving and attentive parent? Does he have a roof over his head? Are his emotional, behavioral, and nurturative (new word, HA!) needs being met? If you answered yes to the above questions, then you're a much better mom than a lot of "good" moms that I know.

((hugs))


Me- 32
Happily engaged and moving on

Posts: 382 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: New England
Topic Posts: 6

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