So my soon to be ex-husbands parents are visiting for two weeks. During this time, I went above and beyond to make sure they have time to spend with my son, who is 4.
They took him on a trip this past weekend and when they came back, my soon to be ex husband starts to complain about my parenting. He said he has a list of concerns regarding my parenting (my son said I got mad at him, he is worried that our son is becoming emotionally disturbed, and said my niece/nephew are bad influences on my son etc.).
I texted him and told him that if he wants to complain about my parenting, I will not hear it and he should express his concerns to his lawyer.
I am just annoyed because we have been separated for 1 year and he always said I have been a good mom. Then, suddenly after his parents visit he has a whole list of concerns regarding my parenting skills. I know his parents are brainwashing him.
I cried so much because sometimes I just do not understand how much more pain I will have to deal with. First, DD, separation, dealing with divorce, I left my home, living with parents, feeling like a single mom etc. It's exhausting and life is exhausting now.
I used to be an AMAZING mom according to what others told me. And now I am just a mom that is trying and holding on trying to be sane. I know his nutrition is not as good as it used to be, I know I am not doing enough activities or pre-academic work with him. I take him to different activities and hardly ever raise my voice at him, but I do not enjoy playing with him etc. To be honest, it's not even a concern of mine anymore. Its been one year and I thought things would get better but I cannot even get a grasp on my own life yet. I used to be such an organized person and now no organization, everything is cluttered etc. My parents have a very small home. I want to stay with my parents for another year until my son is in kindergarten.
I feel like my life just sucks right now; have to work, no nice home, no real closet, no organization, no strong interest from me for my son, etc. I thought there would be light at the end of the tunnel but I am sure not seeing the light as fast as I would like to.
I am in individual and group therapy. I am also working on other things to get better.
A piece of me feels like if I meet someone and get married my life would carry on again - I would have a home, a companion to talk to, someone to make me feel special etc.
Anyways, I just wanted to vent!