"You can survive this. Talk to others that have"

kickboxer posted 8/13/2013 12:05 PM

DD - 7/13.

We'll be married 13 years in November.

Lucky 13.

The big picture is too much to bear.

He's admitted to 2 ONS and 1 EA via phone/text that lasted 6 months. He's admitted to countless other miscellaneous phone exchanges that included nude photos. I've already found a couple inappropriate FB PMs...who knows how many he deleted before I could find them. He's been sneaky about connecting with multiple old girlfriends (EA was an old girlfriend who now lives several states away). He admitted to having accounts on 2 websites (one of his ONS was a no-strings attached encounter he found through one of them).

He admitted he hasn't paid the mortgage in a year. No savings. Both of our cars have something wrong with them...who knows how that will play out. My credit has been demolished in the process.

Our children have witnessed his emotional/verbal rage-abuse towards me for years. He frightens all of us when he switches from being the man we love to the man who has scarred our hearts. Have they been damaged forever?

A few weeks ago, I told him I needed to get STD testing done. He said he wore a condom. I let it go.

But then I woke up a few days ago, and realized that he's the same man who has lied to me over and over and over again for the duration of our marriage. He had a vasectomy a few years go -- he knows an OC is practically impossible. I can't trust anything he says. Hell no, he didn't wear a condom. Wake up girl. You have to take care of yourself...and you have 3 small children who need you too.

I'm too mortified to go to our PCP or my OB-GYN, so I'm going to a random clinic tomorrow -- appointment at 11:45. They offer abortion services as well. What if there are picketers and news cameras?

I'm humiliated and embarrassed.

I can't believe this is our life.

ladies_first posted 8/13/2013 12:44 PM

I'm going to a random clinic tomorrow -- appointment at 11:45. They offer abortion services as well. What if there are picketers and news cameras?

Are your familiar with the term AWFULIZING: "A person who engages in awfulizing, likely predicts the most catastrophic outcome in every circumstance."

First, I doubt you'll need to cross a barricade of any sort.

However, if the worst case scenario presents itself, consider a SIMPLE backup plan, i.e., just keep walking and don't enter the building. Since STD testing is important, but not as "time sensitive" as abortion services, you can reschedule with a private doctor if you need too.

Just play some calming music on your trip to the clinic. You'll be fine!

purplejacket4 posted 8/13/2013 14:04 PM

If you change your mind about the clinic please see your own PCP or Gyn doc. That's what we are here for.

Big hugs!