Hello, this could be helpful to all of you experiencing triggers. Maybe I should post it in General but since people are actively trying to R, this could help you on your path.
The article is in the Sept issue of Oprah mag and written by life coach, Martha Beck.
She writes about emotional triggers being "set" when we experience trauma/drama - experiences that wound us and the stories we attach to those experiences.
She is tying together past emotional triggers with current ones saying there will be similarities but asks us to focus on the differences between the past and the present.
1) What was I feeling right before I began acting badly?
2) What thoughts so I associate with that feeling?
3) When did these thoughts begin?
4) Do I want to keep re-creating that trauma?
I think when people on here talk about "reclaiming" a trigger, they have reached #4. They are aware of the trigger, they acknowledge how they feel/don't stuff it down, they confront it with what is real NOW...they stay in the present. They reclaim it.
A woman on SI recently posted (I think it was JanaGreen) about a vacay she took with her H and how she was able to "reclaim" this very same location where she and her fWS had visited the year before when he was in the A.
Maybe I have not explained this well. But the article does and I just wanted to bring it to your attention.
There is also a short page or two by Brene Brown on page 58 about "setting boundaries".