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Why won't OW just leave me alone

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BIZZYBEEZ posted 8/13/2013 13:50 PM

Why won't she just go away? Why does she keep contacting me threatening to sue my H? Sending me copies of their messages during their A? Cease & desist letter from our attorney was served to her in December. It was quiet until July & now she's started harassing me again. This time she's posing as an attorney that doesn't exist. I block her & she finds another way. The local authorities aren't much help because it's an inter-state situation. They suggest trying a stalking order but since she doesn't live here & her contact has been electronic the courts may decline our case as well.
She is acting like he betrayed her - like his commitment was to her. She knew he was married - she knew who I was - we spoke on the phone. He never promised her anything they were FWB according to both of them yet she feels like she can torment me more than I already am.
Uggghhhh I just don't know what to do with her anymore. Guess I just needed a place to vent........

Lucky posted 8/13/2013 13:52 PM

Vent away! OMG I can't believe they can't stop her... I don't know the laws but I thought electronic stalking was punishable by law?
Hopefully someone will come along that can guide you on what to do.

Kalliopeia posted 8/13/2013 14:17 PM

No one could stop my ex's ex wife from harrassing me. It went on for years. It was terrible. You can't get away and the helpless feelings really build up into frustration.

musiclovingmom posted 8/13/2013 14:22 PM

Whatever the listed consequence was in your cease and desist letter, you need to follow through with it. Your local authorities won't help, contact the authorities in her city or possibly state level authorities in your state.
Also, it may be a hassle, but can you change your e-mail address?

StillLivin posted 8/13/2013 14:22 PM

They can stop her. Get a good attorney. It's going to cost...$3000 - $7000. I cannot stress how much it is worth it.
She can be subpoened itno court where YOU are since SHE is contacting YOU.
It will cost her. Once you have a stalking restraining order, she can be dragged into jail, AND she can be extradicted to your state to face charges. How is that for inconvenience.
If she is still threatening and harrassing you, she is a SERIOUS threat.
Change your numbers, close out and change your and his emails, change your FB profile or close it out altogether. You will be able to prove to the judge that you have made every effort on your part...I know not fair.
If you have children, I cannot stress enough how important it is to get a restraining order.

Been there with his crazy ex.

Me-BS 43
Him-WH 45
Married 8, together 9

StillLivin posted 8/13/2013 14:28 PM

Oh, and you really should seek out counseling if you haven't already. For the affair, but also for the harrassment. It could drive anybody crazy!!!

Again, been there.

BIZZYBEEZ posted 8/13/2013 15:51 PM

So the only way to stop her is hiring an attorney? Well that would be swell if I had 10k plus just laying around AND if there was an attorney where I live that handled those types of cases. I found the ONLY attorney in town that was even willing to write the cease & desist. They told me when they consulted with us that they could write the letter but if we chose to take it to the next step they could not handle the case. State Troopers & City Police can't help unless she shows up on my property. She uses new aliases with every contact. Can't change the email right now because its a business email but I'm closing my business of 7 years because of her & her harassment.
So nice I have to just deal with all the crazy women in my husbands life - his mother, his sisters, his nieces, his daughters, his ex-wife & his ex crazy assed mistress! This is NOT what I signed up for!

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