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Newest Member: NEfEm (46010)

User Topic: your gut, on things in general
imagoodwitch
♀ 23375
Member # 23375
Default  Posted: 4:15 PM, August 13th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

How is your gut on things in general?

I am having this issue trusting my gut, seeing things that may not be there and then freaking out.

How good is your gut in general on things that are not necessasarily A related?


I am just your ordinary average everyday sane psycho supergoddess - Liz Phair

Don't keep dancing with the Devil and wonder why you are still in Hell.

It's all shits and giggles until someone giggles and shits.


Posts: 5508 | Registered: Mar 2009 | From: Munchkinland
heartache101
♀ 26465
Member # 26465
Default  Posted: 4:16 PM, August 13th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

spot on..Usually that is..


There are degrees to which you let people back into your life and degrees to which you let them back into your heart-which, of course, are not the same thing

Posts: 3199 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Indiana
krazy8516
♀ 40076
Member # 40076
Default  Posted: 4:23 PM, August 13th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My gut's pretty smart. Or at least it was. Everything from "I bet there's a cop hiding under that overpass today" to "So-and-so's pregnant, isn't she?!" It was my gut that told me my husband was having an affair (well, my gut, and my own past experience with affairs).

Somehow, now that my gut has been proven right, I can't trust it anymore. Not because it was wrong (because it wasn't), but because I don't feel like I can believe anything anymore. My whole world has been shattered, broken into a million little pieces - by the one person I trusted most. My gut is telling me hje's still hiding something (maybe NC hasn't been established after all?). But I realize that this is normal for me to feel after what happened.

So, because I trust nothing these days (not even what I see when I look in the mirror), I've kinda lost faith in my gut too. Sucks, 'cause me and my gut have been together a lot longer than my husband and I....


me: BW, 30
him: WH, 25
us: edging closer to R every day

married 2y, together 2.5y
1 beautiful daughter, 23m

"Someday soon, I'm going to put my life together; Win or lose, I'm starting over again."


Posts: 368 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Texas
PrincessPeach06
♀ 39588
Member # 39588
Default  Posted: 4:23 PM, August 13th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't know about my gut but I'm way too naive and trust people too easily I think.


Me (BS): 35
Him (fWS): 36
Married 16 years 6 kids ages 15-6
DDay #1 (EA) July '08
DDay #2 (EA/ONS- different OW) May 15, 2013

Finally this is R 8/14/13

"Forgiving is a journey; the deeper the wound, the longer the journey".


Posts: 299 | Registered: Jun 2013
imagoodwitch
♀ 23375
Member # 23375
Default  Posted: 4:31 PM, August 13th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So, because I trust nothing these days (not even what I see when I look in the mirror), I've kinda lost faith in my gut too. Sucks, 'cause me and my gut have been together a lot longer than my husband and I....

This is me now^^^^^

I don't trust anything and I am afraid I am "hearing" things that aren't there, if you know what I mean.

I used to be really good at hearing inflection in people's voices, now I can't even trust that now.

I am afraid to listen to it now.


I am just your ordinary average everyday sane psycho supergoddess - Liz Phair

Don't keep dancing with the Devil and wonder why you are still in Hell.

It's all shits and giggles until someone giggles and shits.


Posts: 5508 | Registered: Mar 2009 | From: Munchkinland
myperfectlife
♀ 39801
Member # 39801
Default  Posted: 4:40 PM, August 13th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I trusted my husband's word over my gut until I just couldn't handle it anymore.
I will not do that ever again.
The gut usually knows.

Then again, a life of paranoia sucks.
People suck.


I cannot be responsible for another's personal growth.
DDay#1 of a "cheatillion" 4/1/13
Divorce final 11/04/13

Posts: 452 | Registered: Jul 2013
crazyblindsided
♀ 35215
Member # 35215
Default  Posted: 4:42 PM, August 13th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My gut has turned paranoid too


BS/FWS (me):40 Madhatter
WS/BS:42 Serial Cheater
Together 18 years, Married 13
DD(10) DS(7)
DDay(s) 5/08, 5/09, 3/30/12
Final Dday 7/11/14 Affair never ended

Posts: 2266 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: California
Ostrich80
34827
Member # 34827
Default  Posted: 12:26 AM, August 14th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I told my gut to stfu for a long time. Now I ask, whacha think about this gut...and its always right


BS..me
WS..him
Been with him over half my life
4kid
DD1 10-01-09 DD2 02-12-12 discovered it never ended
OW..nothing special. Just your average skank
Status..#$%@????

Posts: 5274 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: midwest
Lonelygirl10
♀ 39850
Member # 39850
Default  Posted: 6:51 AM, August 14th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My gut feeling is always spot on. I never trust it though. And then my gut is proven right, and I want to smack myself for not trusting it.


30 Bgf
Dday: April 2013
Relationship ended: January 2014

Posts: 1339 | Registered: Jul 2013
madsadalone
♀ 39201
Member # 39201
Default  Posted: 6:54 AM, August 14th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Gut is always right, I trust it 100%.


Me: BS 47
Him:WH 55
M: 27 yrs
DD 4/29/13
3 kids (25,23,22

Posts: 82 | Registered: May 2013
still-living
♂ 30434
Member # 30434
Default  Posted: 7:19 AM, August 14th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Different, but still there, and still correct. Its different now because I have more wisdom to guide me, especially when dealing with people expressing anger and lying. Before I relied on my gut to tell me something wrong but cold explain it or understand it.


BH(me)47
WW 47 FOO Issues
DDay 11/09 Coworker
High School Sweethearts
Married 06/91
8 months TT
Sons 19 and 14
Recovery is constructing a pyramid of inference from which to see clearer.
The process involves using the reflexive loop.

Posts: 808 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Ches
cancuncrushed
♀ 28156
Member # 28156
Default  Posted: 8:53 AM, August 14th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Gut is always right. The Mind struggles with accepting it. I convince myself, I am probably paranoid. And I am . But it also turns out to be true. Doubting and sure at the same time makes me crazy.


a trigger yesterday

Posts: 1102 | Registered: Apr 2010 | From: athome
tushnurse
♀ 21101
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 9:17 AM, August 14th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh it's usually spot on. The funny thing for me is it is now even more atuned to BS and shenanigans than ever before. There are very few folks that I allow to get close to me, for that very reason.

It's amazing how few honest, good, trustworthy people there are in the world.

It's also very helpful with my job, I can always tell when a pt is lying to me, and can usually get the truth out of them, and that in turn helps me help them more. It also allows them to have more trust in me. They know I get it. Whatever it was they felt unsafe revealing.

So yah my Gut, it's helpful.


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8886 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
OldCow18
♀ 39670
Member # 39670
Default  Posted: 9:19 AM, August 14th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My gut was SCREAMING at me during their entire 3 month affair, until I finally listened. Found the evidence within minutes. I'm angry that I didn't trust my gut sooner, as my gut has had pretty much a 99% accuracy rate for my entire life. I just have that intuition thing going on, in all aspects. But I ignored it because there was NO WAY my husband would have cheated on me. We were happy, we had everything money couldn't buy, we talked about it often how lucky we were....

Now? My gut is in overdrive and my accuracy rate has gone down because it's so freaking paranoid...so I'm lost in a sense there, not knowing what to believe anymore. Just another thing he took away from me.


Me, BW forty something, DD & DS,
Married to WH (49) 11 years, together 16
D-Day 6.8.13

Posts: 620 | Registered: Jun 2013
TrustGone
♀ 36654
Member # 36654
Default  Posted: 9:58 AM, August 14th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't really trust my gut very well as it never told me he was having a LTA. Now it tells me all the time that he may still be cheating and I hate the paronoid feeling.


BW-50
WH#2-51
M-9 yrs T-11 yrs
4 children-none together
DD#1-9/5/11 LTA 2yrs
DD#2-7/3/12 False R
DD#3-4/29/13 (OW broke NC)
Status: Divorcing as soon as I can as he is still cheating with OW

Posts: 2472 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Texas
2004kk
♀ 40134
Member # 40134
Default  Posted: 10:17 AM, August 14th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That is how I feel, like my gut says one thing but I do the opposite. I just want the feelings of betrayal to go away. Will they ever?

Posts: 12 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Colorado
IslandGirl18
♀ 36781
Member # 36781
Default  Posted: 10:57 AM, August 14th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh boy...my gut has always been right. But like others here, I have become very paranoid. Oh how I hate that feeling. I no longer trust anyone, even my own gut, which has guided me safely for my whole life.

Sometimes I feel like I want my marriage to work so much that I ignore my gut, only to get hurt again.

Betrayal is so cruel and unnecessary.


me: BS
him: WS

D Day: July 27, 2012
Day of first suspicion: 6/7/11
DD#2: November 2, 2012

Divorced


Posts: 105 | Registered: Sep 2012
imagoodwitch
♀ 23375
Member # 23375
Default  Posted: 9:11 PM, August 16th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh Lord!

An update!

I solemnly swear in the future I will go on the record when my gut twinges!

Long story short, I came in contact with a person who creeped me the fuck out a few months ago. So bad I didn't want to be in the same zip code as this person.

I kept him at arms length and had shields up during every encounter.

He assaulted one of our clubs bartenders! And it wasn't the first time! Like creepy old man grabbed her girly parts!

I'm trusting my gut from now on!

With everything!

Trust it!


I am just your ordinary average everyday sane psycho supergoddess - Liz Phair

Don't keep dancing with the Devil and wonder why you are still in Hell.

It's all shits and giggles until someone giggles and shits.


Posts: 5508 | Registered: Mar 2009 | From: Munchkinland
Dreamboat
♀ 10506
Member # 10506
Default  Posted: 9:56 PM, August 16th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I trust my gut implicitly. I have always had god intuition, but during the A I denied what my gut was telling me because there was no way my X was having an A with his freaking cousin! My gut HAD to be wrong...well I would not be here if my gut was wrong.

Now the slightest little twinge and I am on red alert.


And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off
-- Shake It Out, Florence And The Machine

Posts: 17695 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: A better place :)
AppleBlossom
♀ 38541
Member # 38541
Default  Posted: 5:38 AM, August 17th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think the reason I felt so stressed and conflicted for so long was because my gut was screaming at me and I was ignoring it. For every thought I had that suggested there was an issue, I had to find a thousand that justified not believing my gut.

I will never do that again.


Posts: 154 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Australia
Topic Posts: 21
Pages: 1 · 2

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