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imagoodwitch (original poster member #23375) posted at 10:15 PM on Tuesday, August 13th, 2013
How is your gut on things in general?
I am having this issue trusting my gut, seeing things that may not be there and then freaking out.
How good is your gut in general on things that are not necessasarily A related?
Ordinary average everyday sane psycho super goddess
heartache101 ( member #26465) posted at 10:16 PM on Tuesday, August 13th, 2013
spot on..Usually that is..
There are degrees to which you let people back into your life and degrees to which you let them back into your heart-which, of course, are not the same thing
krazy8516 ( member #40076) posted at 10:23 PM on Tuesday, August 13th, 2013
My gut's pretty smart. Or at least it was. Everything from "I bet there's a cop hiding under that overpass today" to "So-and-so's pregnant, isn't she?!" It was my gut that told me my husband was having an affair (well, my gut, and my own past experience with affairs).
Somehow, now that my gut has been proven right, I can't trust it anymore. Not because it was wrong (because it wasn't), but because I don't feel like I can believe anything anymore. My whole world has been shattered, broken into a million little pieces - by the one person I trusted most. My gut is telling me hje's still hiding something (maybe NC hasn't been established after all?). But I realize that this is normal for me to feel after what happened.
So, because I trust nothing these days (not even what I see when I look in the mirror), I've kinda lost faith in my gut too. Sucks, 'cause me and my gut have been together a lot longer than my husband and I....
me: BW, 30
him: WH, 25
us: edging closer to R every day
married 2y, together 2.5y
1 beautiful daughter, 23m
"Someday soon, I'm going to put my life together; Win or lose, I'm starting over again."
PrincessPeach06 ( member #39588) posted at 10:23 PM on Tuesday, August 13th, 2013
I don't know about my gut but I'm way too naive and trust people too easily I think.
Me (BS): 36
Him aka narcissistic psychopath (WS): 36
Married 17 years 6 kids ages 16-7
DDay #1 (EA) July '08
DDay #2 (EA/ONS- different OW) May 15, 2013
Finally this is R 8/14/13
Filed for divorce 5/8/15
imagoodwitch (original poster member #23375) posted at 10:31 PM on Tuesday, August 13th, 2013
So, because I trust nothing these days (not even what I see when I look in the mirror), I've kinda lost faith in my gut too. Sucks, 'cause me and my gut have been together a lot longer than my husband and I....
This is me now^^^^^
I don't trust anything and I am afraid I am "hearing" things that aren't there, if you know what I mean.
I used to be really good at hearing inflection in people's voices, now I can't even trust that now.
I am afraid to listen to it now.
Ordinary average everyday sane psycho super goddess
myperfectlife ( member #39801) posted at 10:40 PM on Tuesday, August 13th, 2013
I trusted my husband's word over my gut until I just couldn't handle it anymore.
I will not do that ever again.
The gut usually knows.
Then again, a life of paranoia sucks.
People suck.
I cannot be responsible for another's personal growth.
DDay#1 of a "cheatillion" 4/1/13
Divorce final 11/04/13
crazyblindsided ( member #35215) posted at 10:42 PM on Tuesday, August 13th, 2013
My gut has turned paranoid too
fBS/fWS(me):52 Mad-hattered after DD (2008)
XWS:55 Serial Cheater, Diagnosed NPD
DD(22) DS(19)
XWS cheated the entire M spanning 19 years
Discovered D-Days 2006,2008,2012, False R 2014
Separated 9/2019; Divorced 8/2024
Ostrich80 ( member #34827) posted at 6:26 AM on Wednesday, August 14th, 2013
I told my gut to stfu for a long time. Now I ask, whacha think about this gut...and its always right
BS..me
WS..him
Been with him over half my life
4kid
DD1 10-01-09 DD2 02-12-12 discovered it never ended
OW..nothing special. Just your average skank
Status..#$%@????
Lonelygirl10 ( member #39850) posted at 12:51 PM on Wednesday, August 14th, 2013
My gut feeling is always spot on. I never trust it though. And then my gut is proven right, and I want to smack myself for not trusting it.
madsadalone ( member #39201) posted at 12:54 PM on Wednesday, August 14th, 2013
Gut is always right, I trust it 100%.
Me: BS 47
Him:WH 55
M: 27 yrs
DD 4/29/13
3 kids (25,23,22
still-living ( member #30434) posted at 1:19 PM on Wednesday, August 14th, 2013
Different, but still there, and still correct. Its different now because I have more wisdom to guide me, especially when dealing with people expressing anger and lying. Before I relied on my gut to tell me something wrong but cold explain it or understand it.
cancuncrushed ( member #28156) posted at 2:53 PM on Wednesday, August 14th, 2013
Gut is always right. The Mind struggles with accepting it. I convince myself, I am probably paranoid. And I am . But it also turns out to be true. Doubting and sure at the same time makes me crazy.
tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 3:17 PM on Wednesday, August 14th, 2013
Oh it's usually spot on. The funny thing for me is it is now even more atuned to BS and shenanigans than ever before. There are very few folks that I allow to get close to me, for that very reason.
It's amazing how few honest, good, trustworthy people there are in the world.
It's also very helpful with my job, I can always tell when a pt is lying to me, and can usually get the truth out of them, and that in turn helps me help them more. It also allows them to have more trust in me. They know I get it. Whatever it was they felt unsafe revealing.
So yah my Gut, it's helpful.
Me: FBSHim: FWSKids: 23 & 27 Married for 32 years now, was 16 at the time.D-Day Sept 26 2008R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.
OldCow18 ( member #39670) posted at 3:19 PM on Wednesday, August 14th, 2013
My gut was SCREAMING at me during their entire 3 month affair, until I finally listened. Found the evidence within minutes. I'm angry that I didn't trust my gut sooner, as my gut has had pretty much a 99% accuracy rate for my entire life. I just have that intuition thing going on, in all aspects. But I ignored it because there was NO WAY my husband would have cheated on me. We were happy, we had everything money couldn't buy, we talked about it often how lucky we were....
Now? My gut is in overdrive and my accuracy rate has gone down because it's so freaking paranoid...so I'm lost in a sense there, not knowing what to believe anymore. Just another thing he took away from me.
Me, BW forty something, DD & DS,
Married to WH (49) 11 years, together 16
D-Day 6.8.13
TrustGone ( member #36654) posted at 3:58 PM on Wednesday, August 14th, 2013
I don't really trust my gut very well as it never told me he was having a LTA. Now it tells me all the time that he may still be cheating and I hate the paronoid feeling.
XWH#2-No longer my monkey Divorced 8/15, Now married to a wonderful man.
"A person is either an asset or a lesson"
"Changing who you are with does not change who you are"
2004kk ( new member #40134) posted at 4:17 PM on Wednesday, August 14th, 2013
That is how I feel, like my gut says one thing but I do the opposite. I just want the feelings of betrayal to go away. Will they ever?
IslandGirl18 ( member #36781) posted at 4:57 PM on Wednesday, August 14th, 2013
Oh boy...my gut has always been right. But like others here, I have become very paranoid. Oh how I hate that feeling. I no longer trust anyone, even my own gut, which has guided me safely for my whole life.
Sometimes I feel like I want my marriage to work so much that I ignore my gut, only to get hurt again.
Betrayal is so cruel and unnecessary.
me: BS
him: WS
D Day: July 27, 2012
Day of first suspicion: 6/7/11
DD#2: November 2, 2012
Divorced
imagoodwitch (original poster member #23375) posted at 3:11 AM on Saturday, August 17th, 2013
Oh Lord!
An update!
I solemnly swear in the future I will go on the record when my gut twinges!
Long story short, I came in contact with a person who creeped me the fuck out a few months ago. So bad I didn't want to be in the same zip code as this person.
I kept him at arms length and had shields up during every encounter.
He assaulted one of our clubs bartenders! And it wasn't the first time! Like creepy old man grabbed her girly parts!
I'm trusting my gut from now on!
With everything!
Trust it!
Ordinary average everyday sane psycho super goddess
Dreamboat ( member #10506) posted at 3:56 AM on Saturday, August 17th, 2013
I trust my gut implicitly. I have always had god intuition, but during the A I denied what my gut was telling me because there was no way my X was having an A with his freaking cousin! My gut HAD to be wrong...well I would not be here if my gut was wrong.
Now the slightest little twinge and I am on red alert.
And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off
-- Shake It Out, Florence And The Machine
AppleBlossom ( member #38541) posted at 11:38 AM on Saturday, August 17th, 2013
I think the reason I felt so stressed and conflicted for so long was because my gut was screaming at me and I was ignoring it. For every thought I had that suggested there was an issue, I had to find a thousand that justified not believing my gut.
I will never do that again.
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