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HURTAGAIN1981 posted 8/13/2013 18:42 PM

Had that date on Saturday. Seemed to go well, he said it had in a message after and said about meeting again.

Well it's been a bit strange. He will text, then I will answer, with a question and then he won't reply.

So I thought that maybe he had changed his mind about meeting again, fine by me really. But then today, I got a message this morning which was his reply from the day before, and in it he said that 'next time' I will have to try a certain chinese fast food we were talking about the previous day.

I replied, and asked how his day was going, again no reply.

Now I don't mind but why mention meeting again more than once and then not bothering to reply? If he isn't interested, I would rather he just say or just say nothing at all and not message me. It is completely fine if he is, it's the messing about that actually bothers me!

And it's not that he's 'not a texter' because before we met he was messaging all the time really. Hmmmmmmm!

asurvivor posted 8/13/2013 18:56 PM

Sounds like he may be O-D-ing on the MSG. I suggest not getting the Kung Pao Chicken.

HURTAGAIN1981 posted 8/13/2013 19:21 PM

O-D-ing?

Amazonia posted 8/13/2013 19:37 PM

Just because he texted a lot before you met doesn't mean he's a texter. He could prefer to communicate in other ways (like in person) once they're an option, and see texting as a necessary evil of OLD.

HURTAGAIN1981 posted 8/13/2013 20:07 PM

Hmmm we shall see. It was just one message though today, would have been two if he had replied. I know he saw the message and I think it's rather rude to point blank ignore it.

Amazonia posted 8/13/2013 20:27 PM

Well, if he isn't worth it to you, move on. You've invested what, one date in him? Next.

cayc posted 8/13/2013 20:28 PM

You're trying to have a conversation with him via text, he's just trying to stay in touch and let you know he's around, interested and will be asking you out again.

Next time he texts you, just respond to what he mentions. Don't ask him a question.

So he texts, "how is your day going" and you respond "fabulous, hope your's is good too!"

Or he texts, "next time chinese" you reply "awesome, I love chinese food".

That's friendly, letting him know you're receptive to the contact, but not trying to force a conversation when it's too soon (b/c you've only had 1 date).

better4me posted 8/13/2013 22:27 PM

I'm working on this: I will believe what others say is still true until I hear otherwise. And silence isn't hearing something otherwise. So "next time" means he wants to see you again, even if he hasn't responded to a text. I truly believe most people aren't as complicated and complex as all that...say what you mean and mean what you say...

But if it is "fine by you" not to see him again, do you really want to accept a second date? It is okay to have changed your mind...

HURTAGAIN1981 posted 8/15/2013 14:23 PM

I'm usually the other way around. I don't believe until I see it with my own eyes.

Well ladies and gentlemen (if there are any reading), it seems we do in fact have a poofer He hasn't replied to my last message in over a day. Oh well! Onto the next I guess, now I just have to find another I want to go on a date with

InnerLight posted 8/15/2013 15:21 PM

A couple of days of no texting does not a poofer make. It does sound like things are not flowing in the communication between you two, but it can take a while for two strangers to figure out how best to do this. Needless to say it doesn't feel great to you so maybe you can put a stop to it and respond to his next text with 'On further thought I don't think we are a match, good luck with your search.'

Or, you can go on with your life and if he texts again respond the way Cayc suggested. Without questions. Simple and friendly to show you are receptive but nothing more.

I think one of the unique things about OLD is that you start from being complete strangers so even the most basic communications of friendship have to be established from scratch.