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Newest Member: trishl (61116)

User Topic: Is this healing?
♀ 39150
Member # 39150
Default  Posted: 8:19 PM, August 13th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Today I had some clarity and I hope it sticks around. I was hoping others would share their moments of clarity.

I am not sure why my moment was tied to someone else's perception of my situation but here it goes . . . I have a friend who is quite the alpha female. She has offered tough love through this whole ordeal. In my mind, I always felt that she faulted me, in some way, for my WS's actions. Today, she flat out told me that my WS was a cheater and she believes he had been cheating on me for longer than I believe and that he is morally bankrupt.

I felt validated. It opened my eyes to something I had not seen before. I wish I can say what it was, but I do feel now that my toughest critic is on my side, so to speak.

I feel great! I almost feel INDIFFERENT and I want this to last and last. Anyone else have these kinds of "moments?" Did it propel you forward in your healing process?

BW - 35 (me)
WH - 36
DS - 4
Married - 2004 (together 11 1/2 years total)
D-day - 1/27/13

Posts: 8 | Registered: May 2013 | From: leapoffaith04
♂ 40257
Member # 40257
Default  Posted: 9:03 PM, August 13th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"is morally bankrupt"

Great saying. Makes total sense.

My sitch is pretty fresh yet. But I have felt that (indifference, etc). But then something triggers the sucky emotions sometimes as well.p Basically, a solid sleep would help too!

Keep working on loving yourself, and good friends help that. We can do this Leap.

Posts: 88 | Registered: Aug 2013
♀ 39051
Member # 39051
Default  Posted: 10:54 PM, August 13th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have a friend who is the same way. At first it angered me because I loved my ex and didn't appreciate the bad mouthing, but sometimes others see a truth we aren't crazy about--even if they don't have it quite right.

They see enough that we miss.

BW 39
WH 34
2DD's 15 months at start
Together 10 years, M 9
OW 22 CW, 2kids by 2 men & youngest less than 1 when affair started.
Dday 1 8/16/12 "just texting"
TT, gaslighting, denial; was always PA; he left me for her. Divorced 8/11/15

Posts: 215 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Free!!!
Topic Posts: 3

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