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Divorce/Separation :
Is this healing?

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 LeapofFaith04 (original poster new member #39150) posted at 2:19 AM on Wednesday, August 14th, 2013

Today I had some clarity and I hope it sticks around. I was hoping others would share their moments of clarity.

I am not sure why my moment was tied to someone else's perception of my situation but here it goes . . . I have a friend who is quite the alpha female. She has offered tough love through this whole ordeal. In my mind, I always felt that she faulted me, in some way, for my WS's actions. Today, she flat out told me that my WS was a cheater and she believes he had been cheating on me for longer than I believe and that he is morally bankrupt.

I felt validated. It opened my eyes to something I had not seen before. I wish I can say what it was, but I do feel now that my toughest critic is on my side, so to speak.

I feel great! I almost feel INDIFFERENT and I want this to last and last. Anyone else have these kinds of "moments?" Did it propel you forward in your healing process?

BW - 35 (me)
WH - 36
DS - 4
Married - 2004 (together 11 1/2 years total)
D-day - 1/27/13

posts: 8   ·   registered: May. 2nd, 2013   ·   location: leapoffaith04
id 6447324
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jackfish ( member #40257) posted at 3:03 AM on Wednesday, August 14th, 2013

"is morally bankrupt"

Great saying. Makes total sense.

My sitch is pretty fresh yet. But I have felt that (indifference, etc). But then something triggers the sucky emotions sometimes as well.p Basically, a solid sleep would help too!

Keep working on loving yourself, and good friends help that. We can do this Leap.

posts: 88   ·   registered: Aug. 10th, 2013
id 6447410
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Iamhappytoday ( member #39051) posted at 4:54 AM on Wednesday, August 14th, 2013

I have a friend who is the same way. At first it angered me because I loved my ex and didn't appreciate the bad mouthing, but sometimes others see a truth we aren't crazy about--even if they don't have it quite right.

They see enough that we miss.

BW 39
WH 34
2DD's 15 months at start
Together 10 years, M 9
OW 22 CW, 2kids by 2 men & youngest less than 1 when affair started.
Dday 1 8/16/12 "just texting"
TT, gaslighting, denial; was always PA; he left me for her. Divorced 8/11/15

posts: 227   ·   registered: Apr. 20th, 2013   ·   location: Free!!!
id 6447567
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