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gettingthere2013 (original poster member #38232) posted at 2:30 AM on Wednesday, August 14th, 2013
I'm at a point now where I'm uncomfortable referring to my husband as WH when posting. R is going well,after a bumpy first several weeks.The work he's doing in IC and MC as well as our daily life floors me-the same man who was dumbass enough to risk our "us" is now busting tail to be worthy of me and the life we share.
I know everyone is different,but when did you give your WS the "f" in front of the "W"...and why?
Me:BW(44)
Him:WH(42)
Kids: Seven...yes,you read that right,and yes-we do know what causes them :)
Dday#1 1/29/2013(ONS with coworker)
Dday#2 4/8/2013(6 month LD PA with coworker,over for six months at time of discovery)
Separated,on road to D
Lucky ( member #6864) posted at 2:39 AM on Wednesday, August 14th, 2013
I'm interested in the answers as I've never-ever referred to Mr Lucky as a WS. 
♥ WINE - the other fruit juice! ♥
musiclovingmom ( member #38207) posted at 2:42 AM on Wednesday, August 14th, 2013
I never put a w in front of the H, so had no need for an f.
foundoutlater ( member #32900) posted at 2:48 AM on Wednesday, August 14th, 2013
A while back someone posted about this and it resonated with me. They thought labels were problematic and not helpful in R. I think the label really kept me stuck even though her actions were right. I only use the WS or WW when needed for clarity. Otherwise she is my W.
Your beliefs don’t make you a better person, your behavior does.
Blobette ( member #36519) posted at 2:53 AM on Wednesday, August 14th, 2013
I'm too lazy to type an F?
But seriously... I'm 95% sure he's an F but damned if I ever let my guard down. Them's the breaks. Sorry babe.
BS (me): 51
WS: 52
Married: 27 yrs
Kids: 2
OW: Co-worker, 7 yr LTA
DD 8/1/2012, Working on R
FeelingSoMuch ( member #38814) posted at 3:07 AM on Wednesday, August 14th, 2013
I'm not yet using an "f" but the thought of working toward my WW earning that "f" is motivating for both of us.
She'll get the "f" when I feel that I can trust her again. (or as close to 100 per cent trust as is possible after an LTA).
I guess everyone's different.
Me: BH
Her: WW
Together since 2001. Married since 2007. Found out about her affairs in 2013. Now separated, waiting for divorce paperwork and in a wonderful new relationship. Life is good again.
jjsr ( member #34353) posted at 3:10 AM on Wednesday, August 14th, 2013
I have been giving my husband the capitol F since we started R two years ago. I figured when I completely forgave him I would take it away. I don't know if I am there yet but maybe I can make it a small f
Me: BS
Him: WS
Married since 1985
Parents to 2 adult sons and 3 of the cutest cats you have ever seen
D-day 8/6/11 Truth about ONS and 9/21/11 Truth about EA and 10/28/15 NEW dday.
Just surviving.
VD2012 ( member #36317) posted at 6:57 AM on Wednesday, August 14th, 2013
I initially used WS when I first joined for clarity's sake and assumed etiquette, then quickly adopted fWS, but I realized I'm not really up to labelling my wife beyond what she is. Which is she's my wife, regardless of anything else. So that's what I call her. Don't even use her SI name to refer to her, she's just my wife. As she should be.
I get how labels and descriptors are relevant and important to some folks but for myself it isn't how I work. I'm not prone to labelling things and it doesn't serve a purpose for me.
Me: 30 ~ Her (FR2012): 29
Together: 11 years, 2 children
D-Day 1: April 19, 2012, D-Day 2: September 13, 2015
Surrender to the truth of life.
RidingHealingRd ( member #33867) posted at 7:29 AM on Wednesday, August 14th, 2013
My WH has certainly earned it (the f) but he will never, ever get it. He will forever be a WH.
I see it like this:
I gave birth to 2 children that call me Mom. If, for whatever reason, they decided to walk out of my life and never see me again I would still be a Mom...I would not be a fMom.
Sadly, if he didn't want the degrading title, he should never have done the degrading deed.
ME: 60 BS
HIM: 67 WH
Married: 35 years
D'Day: 10/29/10
in R 10 years and it's working but he is putting 200% into it (as he should) to make it right again.
The truth hurts, but I have never seen it cause the pain that lies do.
nekorb ( member #40306) posted at 12:52 PM on Wednesday, August 14th, 2013
I have chosen not to use the "WH" for my husband. I feel like it jus constantly reinforces a negative emotion.
He is my husband. I love him. I am grateful that I can separate the person from his actions. I want to reconcile. Therefore, I must support and maintain a respectful and loving attitude toward him no matter what.
That is a choice I am making for myself.
Remember the saying: un forgiveness is like drinking poison and hoping the other person dies.
Me: BS 44; Him: WH 47 M - 22 Years
D-day: 7/2013; D filed 7/2014; Divorced 7-27-16
...the WS affair starts off in a dreamland where everything is all Golly, Wow! and Meant To Be! and Soul Mates drop from the trees to frolic in the mist. -devotedman
sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 2:35 PM on Wednesday, August 14th, 2013
I've almost always referred to my W as 'W' or 'my W' in posts, but in my profile, I made her fWS when I was really convinced she wouldn't cheat again.
In some respects it was a big deal. In retrospect, 'not cheating again' is such a small part of R that the 'f' may really be a minor detail....
fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex apDDay - 12/22/2010Recover'd and R'edYou don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.
struggling3 ( member #34671) posted at 2:40 PM on Wednesday, August 14th, 2013
I think I used the fwh title for awhile...since he was so immediately sorry and remorseful. I truly just think of him as my H now. We love each other more than anything and we together are weathering this storm. It is so much better two years later. Most days I feel happy, hopeful, and more and more normal.
Me - BS 58
H - WS 60/very remorseful and supportive
discovered 4 month long EA
R - slow and steady but very optimistic
2married2quit ( member #36555) posted at 3:19 PM on Wednesday, August 14th, 2013
well...she's a former WW.
BS - Me 47 WS - Her 45 ( she's a childhood sexual abuse survivor)
DDAY -#1- June 2012/ #2 -June 2015 / #3-August 2015
Married 25yrs. 2kids
She had 2 affairs with two different men.
Status: divorced.
OldCow18 ( member #39670) posted at 3:30 PM on Wednesday, August 14th, 2013
Unless the "f" stands for EFFING Wayward Husband, he's not getting an f anytime soon 
No where near trusting him. I hope one day I will feel he deserves the f for "former".
Me, BW forty something, DD & DS,
Married to WH (49) 11 years, together 16
D-Day 6.8.13
lostworld ( member #19197) posted at 5:07 PM on Wednesday, August 14th, 2013
I'm in the same boat as many others; use something other than "H" for clarity only. He's still what he always was, my husband.
Me: BS
Him: FWH
Married Over 30 years w/ grown kids
Dday 1: 2007
Dday 2: Mid 2008 (same MOW, 14 month false R)
R'd
The affair was the aberration, not the marriage or the man.
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