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Crickets, right?

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phmh posted 8/13/2013 20:38 PM

I had a first meeting off of OLD last night. We met at 5:30 for a drink. No attraction at all on my side. He was making "jokes" about moving in with me. I was hesitant even before the date, but I am trying to be more open-minded. He seemed rather negative in some of our e-mails.

I would have ended the date after about an hour, but I stayed almost two hours, to give him more time to overcome my first impression, as well as because I was meeting a friend at 8 to go on a lake cruise and I thought it was better to give him more time rather than to sit at a bar by myself.

Today, he sent me this message: "How was your boat ride last night? I think you picked a better night because with it only being in the 50's right now it would be too cold out on the lake for a day in Aug. I was curious what you thought about me and what you thought about last night?"

I responded: "Thanks for the message. It was nice to meet you last night, and it's too bad that we weren't a match. I wish you the best of luck in finding the right lady for you!"

He replies: "I thought we had some things I'm common to explore getting to know each other more but I guess you feel different. I realise we only where meeting for drinks but felt awkward you where leaving to go meet someone else right away. Good luck find that special someone but it sounds like you have a lot going on."

Totally blaming me! (I did make it clear that I was meeting girlfriends.) I should just ignore, right? Because I really want to write something like this:

"You have no idea how much I had to stifle the urge to pin you down and brush and floss your teeth. I'm not sure if those are permanent stains in between each of them or if it's food (it looked so much like food, but how could that be since it was all of them?), but I almost got physically sick when I thought about kissing you.

You were quite boring, told inappropriate stories, and your "jokes" weren't funny at all. Yes, I own a house. No, you are not moving in. Also, jokes usually are funny, not awkward statements about how sad your life is and how desperate you are for a girlfriend.

Don't blame your awkwardness on me having to leave early. I didn't tell you I had to leave until about 10 minutes before I did. And if I hadn't had other plans, I would have left an hour earlier. You are a giant loser, and your pathetic attempt to blame me for us not being a match is laughable."

Oh man, I really want to go on, but instead I will delete him from my e-mail and focus on the next date :)

tryingagain74 posted 8/13/2013 20:42 PM

Hee hee! I like what you'd really like to send, but yeah... he gets the "chirp, chirp... chirp, chirp..."

How do you not check your teeth before a date? Heck, I check my teeth for lipstick smears before I go to the grocery store! Yuck!

Amazonia posted 8/13/2013 20:46 PM

Crickets, yes

nowiknow23 posted 8/13/2013 20:55 PM

Crickets crickets crickets.

phmh posted 8/13/2013 21:05 PM

I am crickets, but it was nice to get it out here! His response was just more proof that I made the right decision!

fireproof posted 8/13/2013 21:28 PM

No response! Your time is valuable and it is a good thing he can appreciate that

Bebba1171 posted 8/13/2013 21:53 PM

Next time we meet, I will make sure my teeth are in bad shape so you pin me down! That sounds like fun!

better4me posted 8/13/2013 22:21 PM

I had a guy ask me (via text) what I didn't like about him when I sent a "thanks but we aren't a match" note after a date. I didn't reply because there really isn't any way someone is going to accept feedback from a stranger without some defensiveness. Your last night date guy's response to you sounds pretty defensive. Yikes!

After reading about others experiences with finding diamonds in the rough, I'm trying to be more open minded too and to say yes to a date with guys I'm not initially attracted to on line. It isn't working so well so far though...

cmego posted 8/14/2013 06:58 AM

Tempting, isn't it?

Only once did a guy text me and want "feedback", and I was honest. I was honest because he didn't project onto me, or blame, or accuse...just wanted to know.

If I get a whiff of

Totally blaming me!
then I know it is pointless.

chirp...chirp.

EvenKeel posted 8/14/2013 11:12 AM

Hey - I think I went out with that guy too.

Oops - I mean....yes, crickets.

Crescita posted 8/14/2013 14:10 PM

Crickets, but am I the only one who took a compliment out of his reply? He is disappointed because he liked you and he recognizes that you have a pretty full life without him, or anyone for that matter, in the dating slot.

phmh posted 8/14/2013 17:56 PM

If it was a compliment, it was a passive-aggressive way to go about it!

One other weird thing he said is he was bragging about how he knows how to treat women since he grew up with two sisters. For example, you can never compliment a woman (though he kept saying "girl") on a new haircut because she'll burst out in tears if she doesn't like it. So you just say, "Oh, you got a haircut!" and then take your cue from her as to what to say next.

I'm not losing any sleep over it, and though I've thought of several other things I wish I could say to him, I have maintained my silence. This foray into OLD might be another short one :)

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