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Ok so it has been 10 months of R and I am feeling depressed. I dont understand why I feel this way and I am taking medication in addition to therapy but I just feel sad. Another trigger event is coming up that I have to deal with. Around my youngest birthday last year he took a trip to see OW. I celebrated my babies birthday with her and my family. When he came back from his trip he did a little party for her and there was a big blow up with him and his family. I am just feeling insecure and down on my self.
I just wonder if this is normal at this point! Should I not be happy? We are working things out and although I am grateful that we are working through this I don't know if I am happy. I fear that I may never be happy with him again. What if there has been so much damage done that it can not be repaired, then what hurt my kids all over again? I don't want to do that, this is the one thing that I know.
I just want to say that he has been doing everything right and is working very hard in R going to MC with me and doing a lot of things right. I feel that it is just me.

[This message edited by shortee126 at 8:50 PM, August 13th (Tuesday)]

Your feelings are normal, you may cycle through the many stages for the next year or two. it's confusing and depressing just know that information, isn't it?

Lucky- so true! Just the thought of being out of my mind for another year is enough to make me crazy and more depressed! I feel that I do not even know who I am. I also feel like people look at me as if I am so pathetic idiot that is desperate. I hate it when people feel sorry for me or do not "understand" how I could have taken him back. It really gets irritating.

shortee, in my opinion, your personal journey is what it is. You can't compare it to anyone elses. The details of your H's infidelity are unique to your marriage.

If I understand correctly, there was not an immediate turn around for your husband, so you suffered extra pain.

10 months doesn't seem long to me at all. There's so much to think about when an infidelity occurs. So much to work out.

You're coping and doing the heavy work of R. No reason to be down on yourself.

Hang in there. Hopefully, your H can help you through the rough times.