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NoGoodUsername posted 8/13/2013 21:01 PM

Here's a quote from my BW that could be helpful in cutting through the fog of a bad decision.

"Would I be OK with this if I were reading about it in a hypothetical situation instead of doing it with someone that I might have cognitive dissonance about?"

caspers1wish posted 8/13/2013 21:38 PM

What? Can someone dumb it down for me?

stilllovinghim posted 8/13/2013 22:38 PM

Whew! I'm glad I'm not the only one...

NoGoodUsername posted 8/14/2013 05:40 AM

Sorry folks. Let me rephrase that.

"Would I be OK with this choice if I were hearing it about someone else doing it, rather than it being me and someone I might be fooling myself over?"

Trying33 posted 8/14/2013 05:47 AM

Meaning never judge a situation or pre-empt how you may react until you've been there yourself??

or

Am I trying to convince myself that we're all good/have the potential of being all good because I love you/have a history with you when really all my principles are telling me what you did is wrong and I should end this?

ShockedErica11 posted 8/14/2013 20:03 PM

"Would I be OK with this if I were reading about it in a hypothetical situation instead of doing it with someone that I might have cognitive dissonance about?"

And 9 out of 10, I probably would've said it exactly this way to WH before he'd give me a dumbfounded look and say, "Um, come again?"

In essence are you saying: if this were a hypothetical situation that someone - say a friend - were telling me about, how would I feel? As opposed to say, the person that I've essentially done this to?

jjct posted 8/15/2013 06:53 AM

I understood it.
She's trying to distance herself from the emotional pain in order to deal with the sitch more rationally.

She's telling you she has dissonance.
My guess is that it is love vs. hate. (not that big of a stretch when you think about it)...All bundled up inside her - seeking relief, resolution, and at the very least, expression (getting it outside of herself, getting it "out there")...

My gut instinct would be to make myself small. Patient. There if she needed me.
To act as a bucket, a willing container to catch the emotional vomit that's pent-up inside.

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