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HFSSC (original poster member #33338) posted at 3:23 AM on Wednesday, August 14th, 2013
It was very sudden and unexpected. And I am so proud of him and the way he has supported and loved his mother over the past week, and also for his wisdom and cooler head prevailing over me and my knee-jerk bitchiness.
MeMe broke her leg last Saturday. She had been living independently, and fell in her home, fracturing her femur. They couldn't operate immediately, but she did well during the surgery. My MIL (it was her mom) mentioned to me that if she needed rehab, they wanted her to come to where I work. That was my preference, because I could keep an eye on her, and also because our facility is simply one of the best SNF/rehab facilities in our state. MeMe balked at coming to where I worked. "I don't like to mix business with family" was what she said.
And my little feelings were hurt. Oh, I wanted to let my MIL have it. And JM was so calming, so assured. He was definitely on my side, but helped me to see that if I said something to my MIL it would not make things any better at all. And that it was probably best for her to be somewhere else, because if anything bad happened, some of the family (if not all) would blame it on me.
She went to rehab on Friday, then went back to the hospital yesterday with a bowel obstruction. She could not survive the surgery and ended up coding in the ER and unable to be resuscitated.
I'm so glad I didn't say something bitchy to my MIL. She is heartbroken. And because my smart, kind husband helped me to keep my fat mouth shut, I am able to comfort her. I truly wish I had been able to care for MeMe during her final days, but she left on her own terms. Directed everything to the last minute.
And then some. She left detailed written instructions as to how her funeral should go. I'll be singing the songs that she, um, requested. (Demanded 
)
Don't want to get this pulled from OT, and so I will just close with this: I'm so grateful and glad that our path has led us to where we are now. I'm so glad that JM was willing to listen, and work, and learn how to be a true man and leader of our home. He is a wonderful example to our boys.
Me, 56
Him, 48 (JMSSC)
Married 26 years. Reconciled.
MovingUpward ( member #14866) posted at 3:27 AM on Wednesday, August 14th, 2013
My condolences on your loss.
DragnHeart ( member #32122) posted at 3:35 AM on Wednesday, August 14th, 2013
Me: BS 46 WH: 37 (BrokenHeart911)Four little dragons. Met 2006. Married 2008. Dday of LTPA with co worker October 19th 2010. Knew about EA with ow1 before that. Now up to PA #5. Serial fucking Cheater.
jo2love ( member #31528) posted at 3:38 AM on Wednesday, August 14th, 2013
I'm so sorry for you and your family's loss. 
[This message edited by SI Staff at 9:39 PM, August 13th (Tuesday)]
Deeply Scared ( Administrator #2) posted at 3:44 AM on Wednesday, August 14th, 2013
I'm really sorry for your family's loss...my prayers are with you
"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)
My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.
Kajem ( member #36134) posted at 7:27 AM on Wednesday, August 14th, 2013
MeMe sounds like she was a force to be reckoned with. I am sorry for your loss. Prayers hoping out for your family.
Hugs,
K
I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - UnknownRelationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.
HFSSC (original poster member #33338) posted at 11:40 AM on Wednesday, August 14th, 2013
Thanks, y'all. I appreciate your kind words so much.
MeMe sounds like she was a force to be reckoned with.
Oh, she was. The last thing she said to my SIL (on Sunday) was, "R, this conversation is NOT interesting." 
Me, 56
Him, 48 (JMSSC)
Married 26 years. Reconciled.
authenticnow ( member #16024) posted at 11:48 AM on Wednesday, August 14th, 2013
I'm sorry for your family's loss.
And, I love feisty seniors .
DS, you are forever in my heart. Thank you for sharing your beautiful spirit with me. I will always try to live by the example you have set. I love you and miss you every day and am sorry you had to go so soon, it just doesn't seem fair.
metamorphisis ( member #12041) posted at 12:54 PM on Wednesday, August 14th, 2013
Sending hugs to both of you, I am sorry for your loss. I am so glad to hear you can be a team now when it's needed though. What a testament to your hard work.
MeMe sounds like she was a strong woman.
Go softly my sweet friend. You will always be a part of who I am.
movingforward777 ( member #6850) posted at 3:17 PM on Wednesday, August 14th, 2013
((HFSSC)) Sorry for your loss...she sounds like quite a lady!
You can't reach for anything new if your hands are still full of yesterday's junk.......Louise Smith
nowiknow23 ( member #33226) posted at 4:00 PM on Wednesday, August 14th, 2013
So sorry for your loss. (((JM, HF, & family)))
You can call me NIK
And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane
Mama_of_3_Kids ( member #26651) posted at 6:20 PM on Wednesday, August 14th, 2013
So sorry to hear (((SSC's)))
Me: BW/33 The kidlets: DS16, DS12, and DD10 The hounds: Three Shih Tzu's The felines: Two short haired kitteh's
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