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Newest Member: Scotsman (61517)

User Topic: So torn...
♀ 40005
Member # 40005
Default  Posted: 9:43 PM, August 13th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

There are days that I feel like I really want to come out of this married and have such hope of a better marriage...but then there are days, I just don't care. I guess it's good that I don't have days where I really want a divorce, but I just hate the feelings of numbness and not caring either way. Is this normal? I hate not knowing my future...

I feel like I can't move on with my life. We hang out together now all of the time, but it's not like we are really in a place to hang out with our couple friends and have a good time. And then, I feel like making major purchases together (like furniture) is pointless because we don't know our future...

Can't you tell this confusion is frustrating me? I think I am probably rambling...

BW-Me 34 yrs old
FWH - Him 36 yrs old
2 kids - 1 and 5 years old
Married for 7 years, together for 8 1/2

Posts: 6 | Registered: Jul 2013
♀ 39210
Member # 39210
Default  Posted: 10:36 PM, August 13th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's completely normal and the way I feel most days. We moved into our 'dream' house the week after d day. Fixing it up and making plans seems pointless and then other days its something to do to fill the void.

'You just keep living, until you are alive again'
'I don't want perfect, I want honest'

Posts: 401 | Registered: May 2013
♀ 35812
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 11:44 PM, August 13th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Look. Right now, if anything other than surviving the next 24 hours seems like a win, then that's exactly what it is a win.

This time is survival time. You put your long-term goals and desires on the backburner and you just concentrate on Surviving One More Damned Day. You have to pick short-term goals that will allow your mind to focus, and try to set out longer-term goals with whatever mind is left.

You will not know the future for some time. That's survival. At some point, you will start to see glimpses of what the future might look like for you good and bad. And you'll start to think of plans to take advantage of what you see. And then little by little, you will start to see farther ahead and start to be able to set goals.

But at this point, minute by minute, to hour by hour is a win. Baby steps sistah. Taken in time. Sucks, but that IS the way it is. (((hugs)))

Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012

Posts: 10067 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
♀ 37184
Member # 37184
Default  Posted: 7:39 AM, August 14th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


I so understand. I've often felt it.

You know what though?? Buy that furniture for you.

Right now, its about you. You have to rebuild the joy in your life, without relying so heavily on your husband for it.

Do things for you. Its still your home, your life.

Do what makes YOU happy.

hugs crushed,,,,,

Posts: 1027 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: new york
Topic Posts: 4

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