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NedsBones (original poster new member #40132) posted at 5:44 AM on Wednesday, August 14th, 2013
I want one and I know the terms I want, but I've talked to three attorneys today who have never heard of such a thing and seem to think it's not even possible. I've checked with family law and divorce lawyers.
Am I missing something here? It seems essentially like a prenup, why has no attorney in my area heard of one?
Me BW (31)
Him WH (31)
Married 4 years, coupled 5 years
3 year old son
DDay 7/28/2013 6:14 am
Dare2Trust ( member #21183) posted at 5:51 AM on Wednesday, August 14th, 2013
NedsBones,
I have no idea why attorneys in Oklahoma have no knowledge about Post Nup Agreements.
I live in Texas (A Community Property State) and having a legal, attorney written Post Nup was one of the MAIN CONDITIONS for me agreeing to remain in my marriage: I wanted, needed, and DEMANDED legal, and financial protection...and a JUDGE agreed with my terms!
Me BS 59
WH 58
Married 19 years
D-Day Nov 3, 2005
Child: Adopted Daughter 21 College Student now
I can understand being alone; but I hate being with someone and feeling lonely.
PhantomLimb ( member #39668) posted at 6:40 AM on Wednesday, August 14th, 2013
My WS tried to get me to sign one before DDay (the demand brought DDay on in fact, because I refused to sign).
So they exist.
womaninflux ( member #39667) posted at 6:47 AM on Wednesday, August 14th, 2013
Yes. They exist. Basically defines who gets what assets (personalty, property, etc.) in the event of a split.
I want one!!!
I want $1MM off the top of the division of assets if we split because of any future infidelity on his part. I wonder what other things I should ask for.
BS - mid-40's
SAWH - mid 40's
Kids - 2 elementary school aged
Getting tons of therapy and trying to "work it out"
Kierst13 ( member #39197) posted at 6:47 AM on Wednesday, August 14th, 2013
Post-nuptials aren't valid in all states. I didn't find much about them in Oklahoma via google, but what I did find, they seemed limited to property only or in conjunction with a legal separation.
Story in my profile
He lied, I gave the gift of R
He became the model remorseful WS...all while lying and seeing her
Am I done? Yes I am!
crisp ( member #34236) posted at 11:40 AM on Wednesday, August 14th, 2013
The law varies from state to state. BUT, experienced family law attorneys absolutely should be able to tell you what the law is in their state on the subject. These type of topics come up in the seminars required under continuing legal education and practitioners in specialties like family law chat all the time about issues in their practices.
Endeavor to persevere. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=csEzTwKemwY
sparklezombie ( member #40095) posted at 6:04 PM on Wednesday, August 14th, 2013
They are valid in my state and we have one. Try an experienced estate planning attorney. That's who did mine after collaborating a bit with my divorce atty
BS: Me
WH: Husband
One daughter - 22 months
Married 11.5 years
2.5 false R's.
Status: Divorcing.
You can't pick up a turd by the clean end. Time to flush the toilet.
Hopetosurvive98 ( member #33842) posted at 7:04 PM on Wednesday, August 14th, 2013
I have one. I refused to R without one. My lawyer said they do them all the time. Mine is very extensive and gives me a 70/30 split on everything along with a lot of other things. It is in full effect if there is any further infidelity and I get to define what infidelity is. It also states he has to maintain zero contact with his AP and her friends. There was a lot to it and took me about a month to get it finalized- it is 28 pages long so it is quite the contract!
Me: BS 36
Him:WS 36
DDay 9/8/11, 3yr LTA
Her: super classy coworker, 44, involved in many A's including several other coworkers.
doesitgetbetter ( member #18429) posted at 5:14 PM on Thursday, August 15th, 2013
I would caution anyone considering a post nup to waltz over to the divorce forum and see just how many people had those, and then were told that they weren't worth the paper they were written on when push came to shove. Even if they are legal in the state, they can still be disputed during D, and if the split is unfair they have been thrown out completely.
DDay - Dec '07
Me - BS
Him - WS
Us - working on R - again
May 18, 2010 - I forgave him fully!
D-day 2 July 4, 2015, turns out he is a SAWH, status, working harder than before
May 22, 2019 -slip/relapse. He forgot he has to work forever
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