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My daughter is weaning herself from breastfeeding....and I'm sad

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She11ybeanz posted 8/14/2013 08:51 AM

So....I'm a full-time working mom.....and my daughter just turned 1 on August 3rd. I've been pumping a minimum of 5 times a day for a year up to as much as 8 times a day plus nursing her imbetween, at night, and on weekends.

She is now only interested in nursing in the middle of the night or occasionally when she wants to be close for comfort reasons. But, she is definitely weaning. She likes her solid foods and she loves whole milk which I introduced her to it a few weeks ago. I'm cutting out another pumping session at work today...from 2 to 1 (I went from 3 to 2 about a month ago).

Why am I so sad? I thought I would be thrilled to finally be done with the pumping....but part of me doesn't want to let go. I just want to cry.

[This message edited by She11ybeanz at 8:51 AM, August 14th (Wednesday)]

movingforward777 posted 8/14/2013 09:15 AM

((Shellybeanz)) Be glad that she has taken to whole milk and you don't have the expense of formula!
Your D knows it's time...come on mommy...catch up!
You can still have "cuddle time" and continue to enjoy that closeness that breastfeeding gives.....HUGS

She11ybeanz posted 8/14/2013 10:11 AM

Well, my LO won't drink formula. I've let her taste it before and she throws the bottle...

I'm kinda glad though.... and I'm "trying" not to be sad....just the end of a baby era I guess....

homewrecked2011 posted 8/14/2013 10:22 AM

Yes, each phase goes away and a new one slides in...

I remember doing alot of cuddling from age 1-5!!! I would just stop everything if anyone wanted to be rocked. I tried to stay in the moment because I knew it would be gone one day. (My sister says having grandchildren is awesome because her grandson looks just like her son did and she can cuddle and hug just like it were yesterday!)

I think I never tried to lose my pregnancy weight because I was so happy being pregnant! marriage wasn't great, but being pregnant was awesome.

Youngest is 13 I think I better get over it! LOL

[This message edited by homewrecked2011 at 10:27 AM, August 14th (Wednesday)]

kickboxer posted 8/14/2013 10:45 AM

Awwwww...I remember those feelings feelings, my friend.

I nursed all three of my babies for 2-3 years each, including nursing my middle right through my 3rd pregnancy and then tandem nursing both of them for a year!!!

Mind you, the first 6-12 months of nursing was intended to nourish my children...but the rest was really just for my sanity.

How do you get a baby to be quiet if you need to have an important phone conversation? How do get a wandering toddler to fall back asleep at 2 am in 2 minutes flat? How do you comfort the bumps and bruises? How do you get your kid to take a nap?

Yup. Sanity.

There's so much wonderment still to come. I know it's hard to let our littles detach, but I promise you will stand amazed at what is yet to come.

When you start to feel sad, think about all the hard work it's been to pump, freeze, and fill bottles -- look at your precious child, and pat yourself on the back!!! YOU DID THAT, MAMA!!!! Your dedication and willingness to overcome challenges (working FT while being a breastfeeding mom is TOUGH!) has given your baby a great start to life :)

Bravo for the 12 awesome months you've shared and CHEERS to the awesome road ahead!

TattoodChinaDoll posted 8/14/2013 11:03 AM

I consider myself a closeted lactavist. I don't believe in pushing or bullying others when it comes to nursing (and they shouldn't bully me). But for myself, those that want to, and those that breast feed I'm there with support, advice, and encouragement.

You know what? It IS sad that she is weaning. And you should be upset because it was so beautiful and important. But you know what isn't sad? You freaking did it!! Don't forget that part! You did it!!! And that is freaking amazing!! Freaking hell yeah!!!!

million pieces posted 8/14/2013 11:14 AM

Both of my kids cut way back on nursing when they started walking, they were just too busy. But the last 1-2 nursings a day continued on for almost a year.

Blame it on your hormones, I always did

Nature_Girl posted 8/14/2013 11:52 AM

Yep, I wept bitterly & hard when my babies self-weaned. I knew it was natural for them to grow up & move on, but my tender heart wanted to hold on to their babyhood just a little bit longer. I loved nursing my babies.

I gave myself permission to mourn the end of nursing. With each baby, though, if I'd known that *that* time was going to be their last time, I'd have paid more attention to it. Kept more of that time in my heart. But really I only *knew* for the last baby, and that's because the other two had self-weaned and I could recognize the signs. So I knew when she detached that last time that it was the last time. We shared a long, lingering milk-induced contented look. Then she was off and I wept.

It's a rite of passage, Hon. (((HUGS)))

click4it posted 8/14/2013 11:56 AM

I went through this with my boys. Breastfeeding was the best bond I've ever experienced and I didn't want to give it up. I felt we had a connection where I could just tune in to what they were feeling and thinking instantly and I didn't want to lose that. I breastfed both my boys up until they were age 2.5. After the age of 1, they only did the feedings at night for comfort. Then when it was just a few mins for comfort at night I decided to stop. With my oldest I had to stop because I was pregnant with my second.

It is sad, but you'll be ok and you'll still be close.

Holly-Isis posted 8/14/2013 12:14 PM

It's hard maintaining a nursing relationship while working full time. Kudos to you for making it this far. As long as she's nursing, she's getting your immunities and the proteins that help grow her brain...you've given her a good start.

There are so many stages, so many things to say goodbye to when you're raising kids. It's always bittersweet, but there's always something new to look forward to (or at least to cope with!)

Mama_of_3_Kids posted 8/14/2013 12:16 PM

(((Shelly))) Have I told you that you're doing an amazing job, lately? Because you ARE! I completely understand being sad; I was sad when my middle child did the same thing, at nine months old...he was ready, but I wasn't I know it's hard. Hugs!

Lionne posted 8/14/2013 12:21 PM

Not only is it hard emotionally, but your hormones are going wacky. Be kind to yourself, do something fun together, but allow yourself grieving time. This isn't the end of the closeness you'll have with her, nor is it the end of her babyhood.

She11ybeanz posted 8/14/2013 13:40 PM

(((Shelly))) Have I told you that you're doing an amazing job, lately? Because you ARE!

Thank you. This made me cry....but in a good way. My own mom doesn't even recognize how difficult it has been for me sticking with the breastfeeding and pumping this long. She thinks I should have quit and gone to formula. I'm glad I didn't.... I just hope I can make enough milk to make her happy at night when she wants to nurse for comfort for a while....I'm not quite ready to give it completely up yet... but the weaning process is difficult.... but I know it was inevitable..

UnexpectedSong posted 8/15/2013 01:42 AM

From an avowed lactivist... You have done a great job. Doing both BFing and pumping is a huge amount of work. You have given your baby a great start in life.

She11ybeanz posted 8/15/2013 07:38 AM

Thank you UnexpectedSong....

Its definitely bittersweet.... I wish she could stay a baby forever! But, I know that's not realistic (just like I wish I could have stayed 29 forever...haha) But, I'm 34! Time ticks on! I will relish every last moment I have breastfeeding her until its finally over...

lost_in_toronto posted 8/15/2013 08:51 AM

((Shelly))

I'm still breastfeeding my daughter, but I haven't had to try to coordinate pumping and feeding...phew, that must be so much work and I feel proud of you that you did it for a whole year.

I know that I am already sad to think about the day that my daughter doesn't nurse anymore...I think part of that sadness is really a bit of fear. It is such a strong bond between us, and I am scared about how our relationship will change when we let it go. Also...she is a crazy busy toddler and it is really our only "down" time together these days. I hope that nursing gets replaced by snuggling...

Watching our kids grow up is so bittersweet!

Kajem posted 8/15/2013 09:18 AM

((((Shelley)))))

Be proud, you have worked very hard to give her the tools for success. She is guiding you on what she needs and you are listening . THAT is laying the foundation for so much more sharing and closeness yet to come. This stage although bittersweet, will be replaced by another one. Mourn this one ending, but embrace the new one.

My 4 DDs all continued to cuddle away hurts until peer pressure told them to stop. We just continued in private. They are 22,22 20,18- we have our most in depth talks while sitting or laying on my bed. Not unlike when we were nursing-my bed was our afternoon nursing sessions.

The bond we forged changes, and morphs with each stage, but its still there. The foundation was laid a long time ago. I hope my girls are as aware of their babies needs as you are Pipers.

You are an extraordinary mom to a beautiful little girl, don't let anyone take that away from you!

Hugs,

K

[This message edited by Kajem at 9:21 AM, August 15th (Thursday)]

musiclovingmom posted 8/15/2013 09:44 AM

I am on my 3rd baby. He is 4 months old and I'm already looking to the day he starts solids with sadness (as I did with my older two). I don't even want to think about weaning yet. He is my last and I just want to hang on to his babyness forever. I completely understand where you are coming from. Shows just how much you love your baby. Big huge to you!

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