"You can survive this. Talk to others that have"

krazy8516 posted 8/14/2013 10:28 AM

I read someone's post earlier that they had "picked at the scab." That is, they went to the OW's FB page to see what she's been up to. I guess it planted a seed in my head, because I couldn't stop myself from doing it just now. It's probably all kinds of inappropriate to copy and past from her page, so I'll sum it up:

On August 9 she posted that she and her BF had their relationship "tested" that week. She thought for sure she was going to lose him over something "crazy", but through everything, he had "unwavering trust" in her, and "never doubted" her.

This makes me sick. During the conversation I had with the BF, he denied any wrongdoing by his GF, so I know she has completely snowed him. It sounds like they have been really working on their relationship, so maybe she will stay away from my H. But her BF will never know what really happened (because I failed to save proof) and she got away with everything. So while I'm struggling, and wondering if I'll have trust my husband again, her BF isn't even thinking twice.

Arrg, I'm so angry now! I knew I shouldn't have looked!

lynnm1947 posted 8/14/2013 10:31 AM

Read between her lines, krazy.
If she

thought for sure she was going to lose him over something "crazy",

then she and he probably had some shall-we-say "spirited" discussions. She may say he has unwavering trust in her, but man, I bet she is under a microscope now. He may trust, but I bet you he'll verify.

sisoon posted 8/14/2013 10:33 AM

She got away with everything?

Maybe, maybe not. A life without consequences may lead to ever riskier behavior, and ever more serious consequences, when they do come. Keep your fingers crossed.

RyeBread posted 8/14/2013 10:38 AM

The OW will never be able to have a healthy honest relationship until she owns the truth of her choices. She can snowball all she wants but ultimately it will not end well for her.

ButterflyGirl posted 8/14/2013 10:39 AM

What's that thing that has kept me from posting my relationship issues on Facebook for all my friends and family and possibly the public to see? Oh yeah, class.

krazy8516 posted 8/14/2013 10:42 AM

Plus now I'm wondering if my WH doesn't check her page to keep tabs on her since "supposedly" initiating NC. I wish she'd make her page completely private, that way neither of us can snoop.

I'm so mad at myself for looking. I can't heal if I can't let her go. I just need to forget she exists... because in the happy marriage I'm working towards, she doesn't....

confused615 posted 8/14/2013 10:45 AM

They are not "really working on their relationship." She has pulled the wool over his eyes. She is lying to him. HE may think they are working things out..she is still lying and hiding the truth from him. So nothing has changed in their relationship.

He's not thinking twice..now. But her behavior will eventually catch up with her..and he will realize he is with a cheating slut.

TrustGone posted 8/14/2013 10:47 AM

I will never understand people that post their personal lives on FB or any other social media. Who really wants the world to know private details of their lives and who really cares to read them??? I can understand why BS's might want to read about things, but why do they think anyone else would care???

StillGoing posted 8/14/2013 10:49 AM

Unfortunately we will probably see her BF here in a few years then, if they stay together any length of time.

KeepCalm_CarryOn posted 8/14/2013 10:49 AM

He may choose to believe her right now, but there will always be that lingering doubt. It will eat away at them. He may be struggling. She may be in panic mode, you just never know on FB. Is that the type of relationship you want? Always questioning?

Why not block her and have WH block her? That way you can't check, you can't see. NC=No new hurts!

TxsT posted 8/14/2013 10:52 AM

The OW in my story almost got away with doing this and not paying the piper. I had to be very patient. It took a year after Dday but she slowly imploded to the point where her internal and external anger caught up with her and she has been completely demoted at work. She finally GETS IT that what she did was VERY WRONG. Karma is a bitch sometimes but what you do to others will, eventually, come back to bite you in the butt!!!

T

krazy8516 posted 8/14/2013 10:53 AM

ButterflyGirl & TrustGone - I agree completely. Posting about your private life on FB for the whole world to see is classless and juvenile. I, myself, have not posted anything on FB in weeks, because all I want to say is, "My H is a lying, cheating bastard who broke our family. But hey, we're trying to work it out." It's nobody's business, especially since we're trying to work it out. In the end, if we can't, I will probably tell the story. But not on Facebook.

[This message edited by krazy8516 at 10:54 AM, August 14th (Wednesday)]

million tears posted 8/14/2013 10:54 AM

She will always be walking on eggshells, fearing she may be caught in her lies. That can't be pleasant. I believe she is punishing herself.

TrulySad posted 8/14/2013 10:59 AM

Plus now I'm wondering if my WH doesn't check her page to keep tabs on her since "supposedly" initiating NC. I wish she'd make her page completely private, that way neither of us can snoop.

All you need to do is block her from both of your accounts. You won't be able to see her and she can't see you. It becomes like the accounts don't exist. Just keep in mind, people who stalk, tend to create a phony acct and you'd never know that name to block. Always set your FB to private for this reason.

As for her BF, he is probably struggling, not knowing what to believe. And while they may be advertising a united front publicly, in private. I think most of us BS's can attest he is probably living in hell. Once the doubt creeps in, it haunts you until the the full nightmare unfolds and plays out. I'd bet he's living in hell and she's living in her own little sweet denial.