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OW is trying to friend me on Facebook!

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myheadreallyhurt posted 8/14/2013 12:10 PM

Obviously I denied and then crickets in reply but in what world would I want to allow her access to my page and life? Seriously? Should I tell WH or just ignore it completely? He's been worried about her retaliating and I wouldn't want to give more fuel to that fire.

confused615 posted 8/14/2013 12:14 PM

Tell your would expect him to tell you if she had broken NC with need to lead by example and show him transparency here.

sparklezombie posted 8/14/2013 12:14 PM

You have got to be kidding. I don't think I would mention it and I definitely wouldn't accept the request. She must be bat poop crazy

authenticnow posted 8/14/2013 12:55 PM

100% agree with what confused615 said.

EvenKeel posted 8/14/2013 12:58 PM

Why isn't she blocked? Definitely block her butt.

Painfuljourney posted 8/14/2013 13:03 PM

Oh no she didn't! I would tell WH about it. See what a fruit loop he was with. But that's just me. I would message her and ask her wtf and why she would think you would even be remotely interested in being a friend? But that's me. I need to understand other people's motives. Also, make sure your WH is being totally transparent. Why is this bitch contacting you? Does he know?

authenticnow posted 8/14/2013 13:09 PM

Sparklezombie and Painfuljourney,

Please follow the Reconciliation Forum guidelines. There is no OP venting or namecalling in this forum.

Thank you.

bionicgal posted 8/14/2013 13:14 PM

The OW was a friend of mine on FB and in real life. Obviously I unfriended her, but we have 60 mutual friends (!!) so I see sh$t I shouldn't all the time. She's desperate for attention. . Posts stuff where I have posted so it will show up in my feed. Crazy.

Lucky posted 8/14/2013 13:17 PM

Transparency, openness and honesty is a two way street... what you ask of him you must also do yourself.

Tell him and then block her.

Then go cuddle with your H and gloat that you've found one more step in eliminating her from your lives.

nowiknow23 posted 8/14/2013 13:22 PM

I would message her and ask her wtf and why she would think you would even be remotely interested in being a friend?
I can't recommend feeding the bear in any way, shape or form. She's fishing. Don't give her so much as a passing nibble. NC, block, period, done.

Bobbi_sue posted 8/14/2013 13:31 PM

Why isn't she blocked? Definitely block her butt.

I disagree with this one because I live by the policy "keep your friends close and your enemies closer." Facebook is one way to monitor "enemies" especially those that like to post everything from the time they get up in the morning until they go to bed at night.

I would wonder why she would think there was a possibility you would accept a friend request. She might have been checking out your page and somehow clicked the wrong thing and made the request by accident.

I don't think even I would accept a "friend request" from the OW but I would not mind if she checks out my page. I don't believe she has any FB. But if she did and looked at my page, she would see that I have a very full life and lots of nice pictures of my loving husband and I.

LosferWords posted 8/14/2013 13:53 PM

My vote would be to tell your husband, block her, and forget about her. That way she can't attempt to friend you or message you in the future and take up precious mental and emotional space that she is not deserving of.

BeyondBreaking posted 8/14/2013 13:56 PM

I wouldn't tell WH, and I would not only deny her friend request, but I would block her from your FB and your e-mail.

Scubachick posted 8/14/2013 13:57 PM

I'm with BobbiSue. I added the OW when I first suspected something was going on. I wanted her to see that he has a wife and a family. He's not just her boss at work...I wanted her to see how far back our history is together. I wanted her to see that she's just his dirty little secret and I am his wife and mother of his child. she will never be me. I wanted her to think about what she was doing. Plus I wanted to see what her life is like. I actually felt sorry for her after I saw her long term boyfriend and father of her child. When I confronted her she did admit that she was overwhelmed with guilt every time she saw me. In spite of what she did, I've never been mean to her. But I did ask her what kind of woman runs around with a married man at 3am? Is that really who you want to be? One time she said she was uncomfortable being in the middle of my marriage problems and I reminded her that she put herself in middle of my marriage and I didn't want her there either. Then I told her the ONLY reason she still has a job is because of me.

Hrtbrken1 posted 8/14/2013 15:11 PM

Be honest and tell your husband, block her ASAP. If you keep things from him, and he is working on your marriage, that can be destructive. Be a united front. Discuss how you will handle this as a team.

CatchyUsername posted 8/14/2013 16:14 PM

Devil's advocate here... it could just be that she did one of those "send all the people in my address book a friend request" things. Ignore and move on. I would check your "other" messages folder in facebook tho to see if she was trying to reach you. (yikes!)

SorrowBhindSmile posted 8/14/2013 17:31 PM

I'm in the camp of...tell your WH because honesty and transparency is a 2 way street. Approach it from the "i know this will make you upset, but in the interest of being upfront and honest......"
spend a little time together, talk out your feelings together.........and then forget about it and move on!!

I went the route of blocking OW from my FB. I lived the the "enemies closer" mentality for many the beginning it helped somewhat....but in time, seeing her posts, pictures and such on FB was just too much for me emotionally. Since i have blocked her, i have felt a small sense of peace. I feel like it is a small victory for me and not allowing her any headspace.

2married2quit posted 8/14/2013 17:33 PM

I blocked OM, his wife & his best friend. I should block his entire generation too!

AML04 posted 8/14/2013 17:43 PM

I say tell him and block her! If you really need to know something, hopefully you have a good friend who can tell you.

The OW and I were FB friends and I unfriended her immediately. Unfortunately I started stalking her page because she would post publicly sometimes. I had to block her for my sanity. Unfortunately she has a public "photography" page that I can't stop going to. I wish she would block me.

myheadreallyhurt posted 8/14/2013 18:22 PM

I told him. He just kind of laughed and said she's obviously crazy. I think the best thing is for us to both react as if it never happened.

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