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jrr111800 posted 8/14/2013 12:28 PM

I am so effing stupid…..I want to do everything I can to save my marriage, the one I have completely destroyed. My marriage, my family, everything destroyed. I have come clean with everything, although she doesn’t believe me. Now, I give her even more reason to keep that mindset. Last night a ONS texted me out of the blue. I have no information on the ONS but apparently she still had mine. Needless to say I panicked and just told her “can’t talk”. Where I should have said Never ever contact me again, I love and only want to be with my wife. So lose all my shit. Bottom line is I didn’t slam the door shut. WTF is wrong with me. I don’t give a shit about this ONS. Don’t even think about it. Why didn’t I do that last night, Why didn’t I tell my wife right then when it happened. Why did my brain shutdown. I TT in the beginning but have come clean, I have nothing to hide. I am so lost in what to do. My BS is getting a STD test today and on top of me being a total Dumbass, I can’t even see why she is giving me a second chance.

authenticnow posted 8/14/2013 12:42 PM

When we lie and deceive for so long it's hard to break the habit. When something like this happens you're going to have to train yourself to take a second and think. Think about what your new reaction should be.

The first thing you should have done was tell your wife. Then the two of you should have decided together how to handle it.

It takes a little while to shake ourselves out of the fog. What you do is you keep being honest and put the M first. Don't react with old cheating habits. Think first.

victory1 posted 8/18/2013 11:24 AM

jrr111800 Id just like to add something, you have to tell the ons that its over and you have to break all contact once and for all. Maybe look at changing your number!

Stand with your BW and offer support when and where you can when you get the results of the std test, yes it is humiliating and shocking but you will pass through this. I have been there and Im still standing. Keep telling the truth no matter how it hurts, the more TT the more damage it causes.