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Emotionalhell posted 8/14/2013 20:38 PM

Some days I am very angry & emotional . I have had some very negative thoughts about OW & my fiancé ... Now that I am feeling a little better I feel bad a bout the negative thoughts & anger I have had..
Does anyone else feel bad about the bad thoughts you have had ?

ifinallyfoundme posted 8/14/2013 21:04 PM

I am so sorry for your pain. Is your H following any of your rules? I've read your story, are you in recon?

[This message edited by ifinallyfoundme at 9:04 PM, August 14th (Wednesday)]

ItsaClimb posted 8/15/2013 06:45 AM

I think we need to own our feelings and accept them. "You can't heal what you won't feel." Stuffing feelings down is never a good idea.

It's perfectly normal and acceptable to have negative thoughts and feelings towards someone who has hurt us, how we act on those feelings is where we need to control ourselves

I never feel bad about my negative thoughts or feelings, but I get really, really mad with myself when I lose my dignity - for example when I completely lose my temper and scream and yell in an ugly way and then I have this thing where I throw coffee mugs at the wall... I always feel horrible when I do that, that to me is an unacceptable way of expressing an acceptable emotion.

PrincessPeach06 posted 8/15/2013 07:10 AM

No I don't. No matter what I am thinking/feeling I tell WS in a calm manner before it gets to the point of exploding. Sometimes there are tears but its the anger that when bottled up does more harm then good.

I did write OW a nasty letter that I posted on SI and read over and over and over until I could read it with virtually no emotion. It helped a TON to release some of that anger. I would never send it but just writing it and having others read it was amazing!

brokensmile322 posted 8/15/2013 07:47 AM

Anger is just a natural part of it. Why would you feel bad about having bad thoughts about the OW and your fiancé?

They tore your world apart. What is there NOT to hate about that.

The only way passed this is through it and anger is part of it. You can't stuff those emotions; they will eat you alive from the inside.

Best!

Emotionalhell posted 8/15/2013 09:18 AM

Fiancé & I are R. Doing better. I think I have suffered more than he has..

I am going to write letter to OW. ( but not mail it.) thank you for the suggestion.