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Reconciliation :
Not sure if I belong here

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 phoenixrivers (original poster member #38314) posted at 6:07 AM on Thursday, August 15th, 2013

I've been preoccupied with putting out the OM fires that have been burning lately (fired from his job for drug abuse and threatening to "take down" the WGF). Those fires have largely been quelled and now I find myself having second thoughts about the WGF.

Lied repeatedly to me about her A. Said she used protection the first time I asked her on 12/21/12 (said she did, but didn't and never did through the A which lasted until 6/13). Told him she loved him, while coming home to me and saying the same things.

Her reassurances that she "loves" me sound like so much empty bs now. She said those same things to me while she was sleeping with him and telling him she loved him.

I'm confused and upset. I'm going to IC tomorrow and plan on bringing this up. For now has anyone had a successful R after so many lies and so much deceit?

[This message edited by phoenixrivers at 12:09 AM, August 15th (Thursday)]

Me: xBetrayedBF (xBBF)
Her: xWaywardGF (xWGF)
TT: 12/21/12
Splitsville: 1/6/13
DDay: 7/20/13
Done: 8/16/14
"Nobody knows anybody...not that well." Tom Reagan, "Miller's Crossing"

posts: 150   ·   registered: Jan. 31st, 2013   ·   location: New Orleans, LA
id 6449176
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AStar ( member #39971) posted at 9:02 AM on Thursday, August 15th, 2013

I am sorry for your pain phoenixrivers.

It takes two people who genuinely believe in their relationship to R.

You both need to want to have an honest future together.

Only you can know if you two are both ready to do this.

Trust your heart, trust your gut on your assessment of readiness to R.

It will mean that anything to do with the OP needs to be cut from your life. The OP can not be your focus- I like the SI term of OP goes under the bus...

You two need to focus on you two only and your relationship for R to work.

Hopefully some more enlightened SI souls can give you better advice.

Take care of yourself phoenixrivers.

Me BS (41)
Him WH (45). EA and possible PA (denied)
D Day 7/21/2013
M 8 years - filing for D

**The cruelest lies are often told in silence- Robert Louis Stevenson

posts: 115   ·   registered: Jul. 24th, 2013   ·   location: New Zealand
id 6449241
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 phoenixrivers (original poster member #38314) posted at 11:22 AM on Thursday, August 15th, 2013

Thank you AStar; don't need to be regular to be empathetic.

phoenixrivers

Me: xBetrayedBF (xBBF)
Her: xWaywardGF (xWGF)
TT: 12/21/12
Splitsville: 1/6/13
DDay: 7/20/13
Done: 8/16/14
"Nobody knows anybody...not that well." Tom Reagan, "Miller's Crossing"

posts: 150   ·   registered: Jan. 31st, 2013   ·   location: New Orleans, LA
id 6449283
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