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Am I a bad person?

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Odek posted 8/15/2013 03:14 AM

So I found out last night that the OM is having a really difficult time of it since my wayward other half broke things off and established NC.

I can't help but glean a little enjoyment out of that knowledge. Does this make me a bad person?

Don't get me wrong, I know that it's a superficial feeling, and it passes quickly, but it does feel like a small victory...

Sadly I know that I'll end up feeling bad for him in the long run, because that's just who I am.

brkn_heartd posted 8/15/2013 03:27 AM

Odek,
It does not make you a bad person. It makes you human. Your wayward with the OM hurt you and it is a normal response to want them to experience some of the pain that we are going through. Many times we project the desired pain to the AP more than our own partners. I think that is normal too, but in reality our partners are as much if not more to blame.

I would try not to feel badly for him in the long run if you can help it!

Alexa posted 8/15/2013 03:33 AM

No you are not a bad person. You're fortunate that he decided to choose NC. I'm not so lucky. In fact, he's out with her tonight while I'm on here. That is a big step forward for him and your relationship. It probably wasn't easy for him to do that so give him a little credit and enjoy the victory. Hope there are many more for you.

wonderingbull posted 8/15/2013 09:47 AM

I know when I was a newbie in this shitstorm I should have been cannonized a Saint because i didn't dispose of the OM's body in a shallow grave...

WB

Morhurt posted 8/15/2013 10:25 AM

Not at all!

Though I know how you feel when you say that you may eventually feel bad for him. I have flashes of hatred for the OW but then I also have moments of compassion for how lousy their lives must be to allow themselves to be used the way they were.

You are a good person.

niaveone posted 8/15/2013 20:31 PM

I get it totally. When WS broke up with the OW by text (because that's what I told him to do. She didn't deserve any more than that), she was livid. She said she thought she deserved more than a text at least because he didn't lose a *thing* and she lost *everything* (she got kicked out/she left her husband depending on who you ask). She has a dead-end counter service job and her husband got the house and primary custody of kids. I. Loved. It.

TxsT posted 8/15/2013 20:42 PM

There isn't an awful thing left for me to wish on my RH's OW. She deserves every one of those hurts too.

Wondering ill.....that was wayyyyy too funny!!!

T

whattheh posted 8/16/2013 11:30 AM

I was watching Dr Phil yesterday about a man who left his wife of 24 years (they have 10 kids!) for a 19 year old. He said he left because he hated his wife worse than he loved his kids. yikes..

His daughter (near the same age as OW) said that if the OW caught on fire and there was a glass of water that she would drink the water instead of throwing it on OW. I could relate to her analogy.

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