So he's been pretty nice these last few days almost too nice. Even my 16 year old asked if he was feeling guilty. (She has no clue.) We went to a very nice family dinner Saturday with the kids and daughter's boyfriend. Then I did a BBQ and more family time on Sunday. Today kids went to movies and we went for a drink. Sounds great doesn't it? Well that's where it all ended. I've been asking for him to be honest and I've been pushing so I shouldn't complain but I wasn't expecting what I was about to hear. I asked him how many there have been thinking he might say 2, 3 even 4 or 5. Well, multiply that by 3 (the 5 that is) Well he finally broke me. Not to mention, I think the waitress was one of them. He had the nerve to tell me I wasn't being social with her. Well excuse me if I no longer give a shit about neing nice to a whore that slept with my husband. And to think I thought she was actually a decent person. I don't know how much more I can handle. I'm totally devastated. I thought I could handle it but it's way more than I ever expected. On top of that, I read his text messages and he's meeting his current whore for lunch tomorrow. Then they're meeting again Wednesday after his supposed after work function that he wants me to buy him a new outfit for. I haven't decided if he's the crazy one or I am. We go to counseling again on Thursday. I'm beginning to think he isn't worth it. I thought he was trying but it's more like he's just trying to fake everything. Now I don't know what to do. This comes after I told family members today that he has been better. (They asked me.) Maybe I should stop asking for details. I thought it would be better if I found out all at once instead of hearing bits and pieces over time. I thought it would save me from reliving his "indiscretions" every time something popped up. In retrospect and to quote Jack Nicholson in A Few Good Men, "you can't handle the truth." I still haven't figured out if he truly wants to reconcile like he says he does and he's having a difficult time breaking things off or he's just stringing me along. He swings from both sides and I'm still giving him the benefit of the doubt. I'm trying to believe he has a heart but he keeps proving me wrong. I asked him if he thought about how I feel discovering what he has done. I asked what if I cheated on him and how he would feel. He told me to go do the same. He actually gave me permission to sleep around which only makes me think that he thinks it's ok to do what he has done. Sometimes I would love to do what he suggested but I told him I have morals (which is what he lacks). Let's see what MC brings this week. This will definitely be a major point of discussion. I may not have been anywhere near a perfect wife but trust and honesty are the building blocks of any relationship and mine just crumbled.
[This message edited by Alexa at 12:02 AM, August 20th (Tuesday)]
Him: inappropriate emails with ex girlfriend. She was OW during his last marriage. OW- skank with no morals or ethics (personal or professional)
D-Day mid July 2013
Your emotions could change from day to day. But taking action will help you feel in control of your life, which I suspect you have felt out of control for sometime with his drinking and now his cheating.
Hang in there
I can only control myself, no one else. I do not have that kind of power.
**The cruelest lies are often told in silence- Robert Louis Stevenson
This law may not be prosecuted a lot but depending on bad it gets maybe your attorney can give you advice on whether it would help in your situation.
Just wanted to give you some ammo in case you really mean you want to "bust his balls"...
Also I've read that when the adultery and affair is brought into the marital home that judges tend to give more favorable divorce settlement to faithful spouse. The article I read was written by a Grand Rapids Michigan attorney who said he made his client (the cheater) settle out of court and give the faithful spouse more because the judge would have been harsher because it smacks at their conscience. Equitable distribution doesn't always mean equal. This would also help when it comes to custody, spousal support and child support.
And since you and your kids were in the house at the time I think that would smack at the judge's conscience even more.
If this were me and he brings her in the house again I would call the police and have them remove her (good documentation also). Then I would see if it would be possible to get a restraining order on her to keep her away from my home, me and my kids. Drunk or not it would take a "mental case" to boldly go into someone's home like that.
[This message edited by whattheh at 4:27 PM, August 17th (Saturday)]
I did not know adultery was a felony in Michigan. I'm going to look that up and educate myself. I will definitely push that issue in my defense given what you are telling me. Although as dumb as he is and he's done some pretty dumb shit, I don't think he will bring her here again. If he does, next time I won't be so nice. I only did that for the kids' sake.
Yes, Michigan is a no-fault state. You are right. Sometimes judges take other factors into consideration when deciding who gets what. I definitely want this house. I will not leave under any circumstances.
Take care of this business now. Don't wait until he dissipates the assets and hides the money. File now, why wait?