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we need to all come together and invest in this research . i swear my days are just tough i dont want to do anything but lay in bed and forget the world . The days are just passing and im dragging and stomping my feet i dont want this to be my reality im fuckin tired of the pain. this wont go away if i leave R and i will trust less with whoever else i get involved with and have to start all over and possibly end up here again . my WH is extremely supportive and has done so much for me and i can hear it in his voice how badly he wants to show it will never happen again that he was stupid and selfish and i derserve the best of him at all times. He has done lots of changes here at home and a bigger participant in everything he is also COMFORTING which is really BIG our whole marriage he would ignore me if i cried or was upset never was the one to hug and talk , now he does and does so lovingly he swipes my tears and offers me drinks or food and holds me and rubs my back and i know this sounds funny but he makes sure i have a Q-tip on the restroom sink when i get out the shower ....where was this guy that night ? where was he throughout our marriage? all i got to say is i hate XBOX and his JOB because they were his piority for a long time keeping us from connecting and now hes sorry that he ever let in our home and he is sorry that he put work above all and took time away from us.

its still damn hard R is kicks my ass most days but he is soaring i just hope i can allow our new love to over come this tragic loss of innocents in our marriage.

[This message edited by huRtZ413 at 12:21 PM, August 15th (Thursday)]

(((hurtz)))
I have no wise words just an"I'm right there with you"
It has to get better...right

Isn't is horrible that it takes an A for our waywards to finally give us what we need in a relationship?

It way seem like a small thing but my WBF would never just hug me, it would always be me hugging him - but he did this with OW and it rips out my heart every single day and now that he is willing to try to give me that, I don't want it at all. It just hurts too much.

But you, and me, and all of us will get through this, I wish time machines did exist because then our whole world would be different and we wouldn't hurt like this.

I hear you. Mine is really walking the talk ATM. But it doesn't make it any easier at all.

My H told me last night if they built a time machine he would be the first in line. Why in the hell didn't he think before all of this!?!? Then we wouldn't need a time machine.

He is amazing now too - the man I always wanted him to be. Too bad there's a dark cloud hanging over us still. :(