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Newest Member: Hurtagain57 (61546)

User Topic: depression
♀ 37534
Member # 37534
Default  Posted: 1:39 PM, August 15th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't know what exactly I'm looking for. I just know that I seem to have settled into the depression stage of grief and I don't know how to shake it. I'm not normally a depressed person so it's hard for me to feel like this. I want to feel happy again instead of everything stressing me out so quickly and easily. I don't have insurance right now so counseling and medication aren't an option. And I am attending a 12 step program. It's frustrating that now I have the spouse I've always wanted and yet I'm still not happy. I'm tired all the time and the fog I feel over my everyday life is just awful.

Is this normal for 10 months out?

Me,BS 33
SA fWH (masame5) 35
Married 13 yrs, 7 kids
D-day 10/9/12 (caught him through fb chat) D-day #2 11/19/12 thru 11/21/12 (found out about all the rest of the A's.)
8 AP

Posts: 196 | Registered: Nov 2012
♂ 35512
Member # 35512
Default  Posted: 1:46 PM, August 15th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Is this normal for 10 months out?

Absolutely... I'm almost two years out, and I totally relate to what you describe.

Me: BH, 44
Her: FWW, 43 (ThornyRose)
M: 17 years, together 20
2 Daughters: 15 and 13
D Day: 9/25/2011; Lies & TT to 5/4/2012
~Double betrayal; caught them in the act~

Posts: 747 | Registered: May 2012 | From: WI
♀ 40128
Member # 40128
Default  Posted: 2:42 PM, August 15th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am 11 months out and was angry most of this week, but I recently had some dark days of depression. The ones in which you accomplish nothing, and you are absolutely out of touch with what's happening around you because you can't see past your fog of sadness.

I thought I was crazy to be that depressed at this point, but after reading some more here it seems it's quite normal. Sometimes I wonder if I'm just not doing the mental work to "get it out of my head" and think of all the positives.

My H and I have been fighting a lot this week because he thinks I just want to be angry. I am short-tempered with my kids all the time. I was not that kind of mom before all of this!

I think it's just overwhelming at times to accept that this is what our new life looks like. It sucks no matter what path we choose. We can be as optimistic as can be, but ultimately we are going to trigger again. Just knowing that our happiness can be interrupted like that is depressing in and of itself.

Me: BW
Him: WH
Married 13 years at time of D-Day, 2 small children
D-day 1: 8/16/12 (told it was EA only)
D-day 2: 9/22/12 (the OW confessed to the truth and exposed the PA)
12 month affair, 10 months PA
Today: In MC and IC, attempting R

Posts: 84 | Registered: Jul 2013
♂ 36555
Member # 36555
Default  Posted: 3:17 PM, August 15th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You're not alone. I don't find pleasure in the things I used to. Finding myself trying to find a fix on something to make me forget. You are vulnerable (so am I) and an addiction can happen any minute if you're not careful.

BS - Me 47 WS - Her 45 (Childhood sexual abuse survivor)
DDAY -#1- June 2012/ #2 -June 2015 / #3-August 2015
Married 25yrs. 2kids
Status: divorced.

Posts: 1736 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: USA
Topic Posts: 4

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