Wow, living with the fear that your ws would be happier without you.
It brings tears to my eyes knowing the pain it must cause you, and remembering the pain it caused my wife.
My wife expressed these types of fears to me during our early recovery. She often verbalized how difficult it was for her to believe I could toss her aside for another woman yet still want her back. She was afraid I would do it again, or that I only came back for our kids.
I had done so much damage!
I'm not that same man today, I can't help but think that neither is your H.
I do believe you both may benefit if you're able to share your fears with him. But sharing in the manner you're posting about, would IMO, definitely cause unnecessary pain.
I pray your surgeons find nothing!
D-Days April - Oct. 2007 Recovery started Nov. 2007
"Found Myself", I was right there in my shoes all along!
Search for self called off!
Why Repentance Is Necessary? Because Undeserved Mercy Empowers Entitlement/Sin