I'm sorry you are in such pain. It sounds like you've had to deal with an awful lot. I hope you'll be able to get some support independent of family dysfunction with an IC. In addition, I saw where you'd mentioned BPD and I'm wondering if you might be able to find a support group through NAMI for family members & others dealing with BPD &/or other mental health issues.
As for anger, it may sound like a cliche but I sure burned off a lot of rage exercising like fury (pun intended). I had upper arm toning like you wouldn't believe from walking, because every stride included an uppercut punch. It can be hard to get started, but it can really help.
Remember, this too shall pass. I hope things turn brighter for you soon.