It sounds like a show, like Perv does. The more I fade into the distance/background, the more he stomps around, so to speak.
When I was finally able to go long periods of NC, do you know what he would do? He would actually honk his horn when he came and went! For a time, I couldn't stand seeing or hearing him and would do as you do and be as silent as possible. It drew him out more, as you say...
What's nice is that now he's employed again and between that and OW is "busy". But when he comes to collect her, there he is again having to make his presence known...but as your WH does, on his terms.
Yes, your Wh does sound like he has some narcissism and one trait is the hatred of being ignored. Being on stage is a craving and being seen in a hero's light is a part of the ego feed.
Also, if you ever said anything negative to him...and I mean ever...now that he is away from you physically, maybe he's letting out resentments, which Perv is doing, also. That's been considered passive aggressive by counselors I've been too, when a person can't tell you how they feel to your face but do it from afar or a rumor, but in your presence is "peaceful". That's Perv, to a T.
I am trying hard to do as you are and become a non-factor in his life, though I have great pain because of being codependent for so long.
Also, if there are things like money he pays you, it could be making a grudge, which I've heard of and have going on.
ETA: he's also asked me if my phone is broken.
[This message edited by Ashland13 at 4:52 PM, August 16th (Friday)]
You gave me nothing and now it's all I've got - Bono
A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess
Perserverance and spirit have done wonders in all ages.