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brainless twit posted 8/15/2013 22:34 PM

I pasted this post ( into an email and sent to XWH a few days ago. For the first time since his first A in 2006, I feel like he finally "got it."

Last night I triggered VERY badly and was up all night crying hysterically. (He had taken a sleep aid and had no idea this was going on.) Early this morning I sent him an email basically saying I was giving up and didn't have the ability to keep trying. When he woke up - to that kind of email first thing, no less - I was on the couch (still crying) and he came right to me and held me. Some of you will understand what a big deal that is if you remember me from before. This was the first time I can remember that a trigger didn't make him angry or frustrated. We talked for 3 hours and he really took ownership of my pain and his responsibility for where we are right now. He also answered some very tough questions, even encouraging me to let him have it "because I deserve it and I want to help you feel better."

I can't believe what a difference it has made that he responded so positively to me during what would normally be an epic fight. I made sure to tell him over and over that he responded perfectly and how much it meant to me. Hopefully this represents a shift in how we relate to each other. I can't wait to tell our MC on Tuesday!!!!

Anyway, it's been very rare for me to post positives in any of the SI forums so I just had to share this one. Praying this is a trend.

Hearthache again posted 8/16/2013 00:11 AM

Woo Hoo for the progress.

disillusioned12 posted 8/16/2013 00:16 AM

This is awesome!

AFrayedKnot posted 8/16/2013 07:58 AM

Sadwife222 posted 8/16/2013 09:36 AM

Sympathy and empathy mean so much. I've asked my WH to try to hold me, even when I'm angry. It's easier for him when I'm sad or crying but I need it even more when I'm angry. It seems to diffuse my anger and it shows me he cares more about me than trying to defend himself.

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