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Newest Member: KOEmom8102 (47689)

User Topic: Nuking vs Sautéing
♂ 38140
Member # 38140
Default  Posted: 9:12 AM, August 16th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

As someone who works with food daily, I often use it (metaphorically or otherwise) for self help.
This morning I was feeling down about how I am showing up for R and how it's progressing, when I had a bit of an uplift.
Reconciliation should not be microwaved. Christ, nothing really should be microwaved. The time and care you put into R will yield a more balanced R. One cannot just press a button, wait a few minutes and expect an authentic marriage. It takes time. It takes patience. It takes setbacks. It takes effort.
I am sautéing my R. It won't be done in two minutes and thirty seconds. It will simmer. It will bubble. It may burn. But with the right ingredients, it just might sing. And most importantly, it will be authentic.

Me: WS- 30s
Her: BS- 30s RockyMtn

Posts: 126 | Registered: Jan 2013
♀ 24643
Member # 24643
Default  Posted: 10:38 AM, August 16th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Love, love, love this analogy!

Especially since we need to eat 3 times a day; we need to feed our relationships frequently, too.

"We must be willing to let go of the life we planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us." ~J. Campbell
"In the final analysis, it is your own attitude that will make or break you, not what has happened to you." ~D. Galloway

Posts: 2143 | Registered: Jun 2009
♂ 30369
Member # 30369
Default  Posted: 11:24 AM, August 16th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Awesome, awesome analogy, Steppenwolf.

I tried nuking my R at first, and it all shortly turned to crap.

Been putting it through a slow smoker ever since.

Low and slow, my friend.

Take care.

"Life is hard. People are complicated. There are no guarantees." - Rebreather

Posts: 12884 | Registered: Dec 2010
♀ 40218
Member # 40218
Default  Posted: 11:37 AM, August 16th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This is nice. Of course, I just want things better now, immediately--nuke style! But, I know slow and easy will give much better results. Thanks for a new way to think about it.

Posts: 10 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: CliffHanger101
♀ 18429
Member # 18429
Default  Posted: 11:37 AM, August 16th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Along with that, I like to think of it not as sautéing, but as bringing to a boil and then letting it simmer to thicken up and really take the flavor. If my H would have started off sautéing, we might not have made it very far. Turn that sucker to boil, then let it simmer.

DDay - Dec '07
Me - BS
Him - FWS
Us - Committed
May 18, 2010 - I forgave him fully!
"Behold, I have refined thee, but not with silver; I have chosen thee in the furnace of affliction." Isaiah 48:10

Posts: 3859 | Registered: Feb 2008
Topic Posts: 5

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