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Steppenwolf posted 8/16/2013 09:12 AM

As someone who works with food daily, I often use it (metaphorically or otherwise) for self help.
This morning I was feeling down about how I am showing up for R and how it's progressing, when I had a bit of an uplift.
Reconciliation should not be microwaved. Christ, nothing really should be microwaved. The time and care you put into R will yield a more balanced R. One cannot just press a button, wait a few minutes and expect an authentic marriage. It takes time. It takes patience. It takes setbacks. It takes effort.
I am sautéing my R. It won't be done in two minutes and thirty seconds. It will simmer. It will bubble. It may burn. But with the right ingredients, it just might sing. And most importantly, it will be authentic.

ladies_first posted 8/16/2013 10:38 AM

Love, love, love this analogy!

Especially since we need to eat 3 times a day; we need to feed our relationships frequently, too.

LosferWords posted 8/16/2013 11:24 AM

Awesome, awesome analogy, Steppenwolf.

I tried nuking my R at first, and it all shortly turned to crap.

Been putting it through a slow smoker ever since.

Low and slow, my friend.

Take care.

Cliffhanger101 posted 8/16/2013 11:37 AM

This is nice. Of course, I just want things better now, immediately--nuke style! But, I know slow and easy will give much better results. Thanks for a new way to think about it.

doesitgetbetter posted 8/16/2013 11:37 AM

Along with that, I like to think of it not as sautéing, but as bringing to a boil and then letting it simmer to thicken up and really take the flavor. If my H would have started off sautéing, we might not have made it very far. Turn that sucker to boil, then let it simmer.