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venting!!!

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whatnow8 posted 8/16/2013 10:39 AM

I'm finding stuff, and not confronting him yet. Here to vent so I can stay calm when I see him.

I found a call that he rejected while he was at work, and shouldn't have had his phone. It was from what is supposedly an adult toy store. It is in a neighboring city, and the only info I can find says it's an online store, but I can't find any kind of catalog or contact info. How do you run a business that way unless it's not actually a store. Maybe only by referrals of previous customers. I want to call the number so bad, but I need to wait. When I have enough evidence I'm making him do it in front of me.
AAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!

NeverAgain2013 posted 8/16/2013 10:43 AM

Whatnow, down in ITips you can request that a member call the number for you and report back to you with the results. All by private message here, of course.

whatnow8 posted 8/16/2013 14:02 PM

Thank you, NeverAgain. I might do that. Not sure if I can have that info and still be fairly calm, depending on who or what it is.

whatnow8 posted 8/16/2013 18:39 PM

So, now that he's gone and I can dig deeper. This number came up on 2 different addresses in the same city, but quite a distance from each other. Both are in the same areas as escort businesses. The businesses have different phone numbers listed.
Back in 2010 I caught him looking up escorts, but he claimed that someone at work was talking about it and he was just curious. I never believed it.
I've got a nice little notebook going here. Just gonna keep giving him rope to hang himself. I can't believe how oddly calm I am despite being completely furious. Have I finally managed to detach and compartmentalize?

whatnow8 posted 8/16/2013 18:43 PM

So, now that he's gone and I can dig deeper. This number came up on 2 different addresses in the same city, but quite a distance from each other. Both are in the same areas as escort businesses. The businesses have different phone numbers listed.
Thankfully he decided to do a home improvement project this weekend. So I have an excuse for why I'm not so pleasant.
Back in 2010 I caught him looking up escorts, but he claimed that someone at work was talking about it and he was just curious. I never believed it.
I've got a nice little notebook going here. Just gonna keep giving him rope to hang himself. I can't believe how oddly calm I am despite being completely furious. Maybe I've finally managed to detach and compartmentalize.

[This message edited by whatnow8 at 6:45 PM, August 16th (Friday)]

krazy8516 posted 8/16/2013 19:29 PM

Wow, you're calmer than I would be!

I'm confused though - the escort service was calling him?

whatnow8 posted 8/16/2013 21:22 PM

Krazy, sadly, I've been dealing with this garbage for several years. I don't trust him, but haven't been able to prove anything. Every time I've suspected something or had circumstantial things that could be easily explained away I flipped out before I had anything concrete. This time is very different. I'm taking my time, and digging into as much as I can. Deep breaths.

Yup, the call was to his cell. Don't know if it was to confirm something or if it's someone he's a regular with. The number isn't the number listed for either escort service, but is in the area of both. Maybe she changed companies? One address is more current? Maybe she was calling to let him know she switched places. I don't have a subscription to any of the info services so what I have access to is limited.
I noticed he also called to check his voicemail twice that same day. Very few people have his number, and no friends or family called that day.

TheRealDeal posted 8/17/2013 06:07 AM

(((whatnow8)))

good for you for keeping composure in your hellish times.

I'm finding that keeping my calm - as much as possible anyway - helps gather more information.

just last night I asked a few questions to get clarification, kept very calm with his answers and have written them down in my journal. his answers directly conflict with a hand-written note I found from OW3. he doesn't know I saw the note, took a picture of the note and now have it stored for safekeeping.

had I immediately been pissed-off he would have shutdown but instead he unintentionally gave me more details than he thought and it's now added to list of evidence.

hard as hell. I feel like I'm in the wrong career, maybe I should have been a detective/PI

whatnow8 posted 8/17/2013 07:19 AM

TheRealDeal,
I'm so glad that I found SI. Just being able to come here to post is helping so much. I'm able to stay calm to focus and organize my thoughts before I act.

And I was just wondering this morning about a career in investigating. I've been irritated that I don't have any college and no marketable skills. Maybe I do after all. At least there's some kind of positive in this mess.

TheRealDeal posted 8/17/2013 08:53 AM

yes, I hear you whatnow8. SI is huge help for me. makes me feel less-crazy...at times anyway.

whatnow8 posted 8/19/2013 10:48 AM

Just keeping my sanity all in one thread.

Yesterday I talked to someone I trust, had them witness the number, and write down all the info on the screen on his phone just in case he deletes it before I find anything more solid. Tired of him explaining things away or saying that he doesn't know the number and never saw it once my physical proof is gone, and telling me to let it go and move on already. Trying to start trusting my gut.

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