I just texted him something completely benign to check something - and sure enough, that text didn't show up on the ipad. He must have fixed his settings on his phone.
THIS^^^just shows you that he is in damage control. He will be sorry that your figured it out but not remorseful that he has blown up your marriage.
Like the other posters said please make copies. Hide one and confront with the other.
Trust me, he will try to minimize his own words. 'Oh, we were just kidding! I would never do that to you. I was never going to go through with anything, blah, blah, lies, bullshit, blah"...ya riiight!
Alee, don't let him piss on you and tell you its raining!
If he was really remorseful he would have admitted that he was angling for sex with this ho-worker and sent a NC note to her with you present.
The fact that he just turned off the syncing tells you than he will still try to consummate this ugly tryst. UGH! I hate ho-workers!
He has taken his betrayal of you underground.
I know that you are reeling. When I found the FB messages between Mr. Happy and his ho-worker I literally fell to my knees shaking. My head was spinning and my ears were buzzing. No kidding. It was the worst thing I have ever experienced.
I would like to be gentler, but I just don't want you to let him off the hook too easily. I am not sure how you will be able to trust him while he travels. Since his first move was the wrong one...you may have to hit him with some shock and awe to jolt him out of the rainbow-unicorn-farting-fantasyland where all extra-marital realtionships look sparkly and everything smells great. Where there is no dirty laundry, overdue bills, leaky roofs; no sick kids and barfy dogs don't exist.
If sweet nothings (and I mean nothings) from a stranger can turn his head away from a real live loving wife who has his back...well he is broken.
So don't try to fix him. Focus on you and your needs.
NO matter what he tries to lay on you remember you are in the same marriage and you did not cheat! That is 100% on him!
Please make sure that you ask him for these things:
Transparency(passwords and whereabouts), Honesty (No Lying or lies by omission!)
There is a great book out there for him to read. "How to help your spouse heal from your affair" He needs to run and get it now!
I am so sorry that you had to join our club. But you are in good company with great collective wisdom. So no matter what, keep posting. We get it and we care.
PS~ TxsT's idea of getting a sitter or letting your family take the kids for the evening is a good one. You will need the freedom to don those bitch boots and let her rip!