Your need to save this man is also called "enabling." I do it, too. I let stbxh get away with everything and just accommodated his raging moods, his temperamental abuse, and all of his whims just to avoid a fight. I spent hours crying and days trying to explain my side of things. He never wanted to hear about my feelings. He never wanted to understand me. It was always about him, his internet, and the things he chose over me that he can't remember reading or doing now. Unfortunately, I still remember the way he made me feel every time he picked those things over me. Although it sounds bad, "enabling" is just another word for being really nice. Maybe, sometimes, too nice. Whatever. It's normal to want to make our husbands love us. We expect them to live up to the societal standards of what we consider normal. When they fail, they prove that they were never up to par--their title was only a label that meant nothing to them. I can't miss the "him" I created in my head--my knight in shining armor turned out to be nothing more than a little boy playing dress-up.
[This message edited by blindsided03 at 11:02 PM, August 16th (Friday)]