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huRtZ413 posted 8/16/2013 20:14 PM

tomorrow makes 6 years the WHubby wants to do a little something, so i say alright . we did'nt ever celebrate our wedding Anni. before so this is diff he is excited and me well i try to be, and i pretend to be when he asks mostly cause he is trying really hard so i should too. i guess he feels he has to he says "i should of done so before because its about us " blah blah blah that he how he should of realized the importance and whatever i really cant remember anyways SO IMPORTANT! i guess to me its more him kissing ass than anything cause he ass kisses everyday lately and now that our anni. is coming he is at all time high the holy crap i did this so close to our anni. and shes hurt so i need to make something happen show her i love her or she will leave me . i need to put the importance on it because i didn't ever these past years . or maybe cause he really did reconnect when he opened up and does genuinely feels idk whats the word appreciation maybe cause i gave his ass a chance??? i guess im a little less thrilled than him after all i was the one cheated on so i made to year 6 alive whoo. you know i thought 6 years was a long time before all this but really its just the beginning its not long at all and already a bad start.... yet our 8 year mark counting our dating years seemed like we've been through so much . im confused really.

so 7 use to be my lucky number

my bday is the 7th month
my daughter was born in the 7th month on the 7th day
my second daughter was born on the 17th

but my WH fucked up on our 7th yeAR....

what do i do tomorrow is it ok to celebrate?

[This message edited by huRtZ413 at 8:18 PM, August 16th (Friday)]

whatnow8 posted 8/16/2013 21:56 PM

Yes, it's ok to celebrate if that's what you feel like doing. Like you,we didn't really celebrate either, and wh was more worried about the ow on our anniversary than me. I'm uncomfortable celebrating ours, but that's me. It is confusing. Wait until tomorrow, and do what you feel is right for you.

tryingtwo posted 8/17/2013 01:18 AM

I have not been on SI for a long time. I came tonight because it is my 29th wedding anniversary. He cheated on our 20th...

Nine years and we have survived. Why? Because my husband did the deed. He made amends, he had sorrow and guilt and showed it to me, made changes and still knew that no matter how many years, 1 or 9, he owed me love.

So tonight I came to SI and I see your post. It is so hard to have an anniversary after infidelity. He still loved me, I hated him and love him. He didn't understand it at all. I remember that the anniversary after he cheated on me. I hated every single thing about it. He failed. I felt like a wet rag.

Years, damn it took years, but finally I finally felt like I was his wife again. We remarried on our 25th anniversary. We survived, but only because I was a stone, steel and hard bich and demanded what I needed, and only because my husband was remorseful, tender to me, kind and made amends in so many ways over the years.

In the end, you can pretend, fake it until you make it, or you can stand up for yourself and demand that you get the care, tenderness and love that it takes to survive what he had done to you.

Sorry this is so long. Got a lot inside of me tonight.