Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it.
The question isn't how long you give him, but how long you are prepared to be lied to and betrayed. He should be prepared to end his relationship with her immediately if your marriage has any chance.
I hope you are able to come to a decision in a way that gives you peace.
Basically, what is your line in the sand? He's not going to stop if he doesn't have some consequences. Is the A been outed? Has he had to deal with anything besides you being sad, angry, betrayed?
I have given him an ultimatum to choose between me and OW. I am prepared to divorce him and I have told him to leave. He won't. I'm not sure why but he refuses. Maybe because leaving is harder than staying and he's lazy. In fact, I suggested and prefer that he leave until he decides what to do with his life. I will be prepared regardless his decision. If he decides not to decide, I will do it for him because he can't have us both. I'm getting my finances in order in preparation for a divorce if/when that day comes because I'm not sure I love him enough to stay anymore. We've had many problems for the last few years and I'm not sure if he's worth keeping. Some days he's very attentive and other days he's a real jerk. The sincerity of his actions are in question as well as his truthfulness which will always be questioned. I don't know if I'll ever trust him again and that alone will stress me and him out and create yet another relationship issue. I guess time will tell and he's on limited time. I just want this resolved so I can move on. I can't take the limbo state. Sometimes, I think I want to go out and have some fun and see what other men are like. I think I need to sow some oats regardless if we stay together or not. I also think I'm just as confused as he is. Has anyone else felt like this?
If you don't have kids, and you're young, why stay married 2 such a person? At the least, talk 2 a lawyer and get the ball rolling. If either of you are inclined 2 truly want 2 save the marriage, how the 2 of you respond 2 your filing could be very telling.
And it's a lot better than limbo, which isn't really an option at all.
Don't date until you're not married, ok?
I say pack him a bag, change the locks before his return from up north. Tell him he can get the rest of his stuff at a mutually convenient time (when the kids are not in the house). You will want to make sure he doesn't take anything other than his clothes and personal belongings.
Talk with a lawyer about your options. Whatever you do, don't leave the house yourself.
How old are your children? If they have moved out already. Could you stay with one of them for a while? File for divorce. Tell him you have contacted a lawyer to see what you can do about the house.
If your kids still live there it could be harder, but contact the lawyer, see what rights you have. Definitely, 180 his ass. Don't let him kiss you good-bye or anything of the sort.
It could bring him out of this selfish roller coaster he has put the two of you on.
The disrespect stops when you say it stops.
Hefty bag his crap and bring it over to the OW's house. Change the locks.
Shock and Awe will knock Mr. Alexa off the cake-eating fence.
Don't tell him you are doing this. Let the OW do that. Because you already know they are in communique.
Hell he might have texted her to join him up north...
Find your inner strength. Wipe the doormat sign off of your chest. Don't let your WH and the OW stomp your heart.
You can do this. Reach down deep and pull the smart and strong Alexa to the fore...She is in there waiting for you find her bitch boots!
Never forget what is worth remembering or remember what is best forgotten.
You want to show him that you mean business?
File for divorce and request temporary orders that grant you exclusive use of the marital home. That way he HAS to leave.
He's cheating on you. He doesn't have the 'luxury' of ever acting like a jerk, IMO.
In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.