Hello all. I have been an avid reader of this forum, but not posted as much as I would have liked.
My partner and I went on a five week trip overseas recently and while we were away he proposed marriage and I accepted.
I thought long and hard about this in the weeks leading up to it, as we had discussed where we were going and what the future held for us. The last few months have been intense, painful, exhilerating and full of growth and change for both of us.
The upshot is, he has done so much to heal himself and support me while I heal. I stayed with this man because ultimately I believe in him, love the real person that he is and know that provided he continues to be honest and truthful with himself and me we can be very, very happy.
However, we still have our challenges. He told me last week that there was a chance he was going overseas for a week with work. I triggered very very badly, cried a lot and thought for a minute that I couldnt go through with marriage. It has been such a hard road for me, as I have had to learn to love myself and value my own life before I could even think of opening my heart to him again. The thought of worrying about infidelity for the rest of my life had me feeling defeated and quite distraught.
But, he worked through it with me, never once made me feel bad for doubting him and our future, let me know in so many ways how much he was committed to our future.
We are arranging couples counselling before we get married so we can get some extra support in dealing with this, as well as our blended family.
I want to thank you all for being so raw and honest and brave. You have helped me more than you will ever know.
Now that I am not such a selfishly emotional basket case, I hope to give a lot more back to this community.