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Still Hurts

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Harriet posted 8/18/2013 00:06 AM

Hello, I have been reading these posts for a long time. I could relate to so many of the posts and of course it helps not to feel so alone. I was really doing well, accepting the pain but moving forward. Now, so much later, I feel like I've fallen back into the pit and I don't know why. I feel so much loneliness. How long does it take? Why can't I seem to get over it? Short history: ex had several affairs thoughout our entire marriage. We tried reconciliation and I thought we were doing well when he told me one day, nevermind! I don't love you after all. Divorced him quickly after that. He's been with another woman ever since, I haven't even had one date.

Thelastknight posted 8/18/2013 00:21 AM

I wouldn't give it much thought. It just takes time. Finding someone because your lonely is a recipe for a lot of regret.

devistatedmom posted 8/18/2013 17:48 PM

Harriet, what are you doing for you? I find I fall back into the pit when I'm not accomplishing anything, or getting out at all. I try to get out to lunch with friends, I'm busy decluttering my house, I'm busy with the kids, I talk to other adults when I'm out there. I still find that I get in the dumps about not dating...but I also know I'm not putting myself out there to date. One, because of time, two, because I'm too chicken to go out many places by myself!

So, if you are feeling stuck in that pit, what are you going to do to climb out? Join a group, take a class, whatever...just change something up. Set yourself a goal to do something or join something before the end of the month, and do it!

I have to take my own October. September is a nutty month for me.

Harriet posted 8/19/2013 00:42 AM

You are right, devistated. I have slacked off from doing the things that help me move on. But sometimes I get tired of always finding things to do, or friends to hang out with, and I just wish I could just be at peace with myself. I'm so sad and it's so discouraging. I just hope that it's a temporary setback.

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