Me BS 42 Him WS 44
Life Journey, welcome. I am sorry you are here.
First things first....do not jump into anything, agree to anything or make demands....yet.
Your WH has been deceiving you, yet again while you were in MC.
There is a good chance he could take his A underground now. Stop telling him what you know and how.
Breathe....you are in a reactionary state right now. Wanting to fix it, get on with it, etc...
You need to sort through what you really need to reconcile with him. What conditions you would need him to meet. What the consequences of not meeting those conditions will be as well. You have to be willing to stick with whatever you decide. You have to know which ones are deal breakers as well- meaning if he does not comply, it is over and done.
^^If you state any of the above and you do not follow through with what you say, you lose credibility. You absolutely have to be willing to lose your marriage in order to be able to save it.
You cannot jump into a plan of action willy nilly. You have to be thought out, have a plan, communicate it rationally and be willing to back up what you say with actions.
In the yellow box in the top left, there is the healing library. I suggest you click on it and start reading, especially in the the BS (betrayed spouse) frequently asked questions.
Keep posting. We are all here for you. Take care of you. Eat drink sleep.
OW Coworker DDay April 7, 2012
EA on a slippery slope...
When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves. ~Viktor Frankl
"When you are happy, you can forgive a great deal."